2 moms

[JL]

I've been stressed all year by these 2 moms. I have a little girl in my class who has a mom and a stepmom. These mothers constantly compete with eachother. The little girl lives with her mother and sees the dad and stepmom every other weekend. The stepmom for whatever reason is up at the school everyday. The mother is the room mother and is very threatened by this. Mom volunteers also, and does not like having the stepmom volunteer since according to Mom "she' s not my daughter's mother and is not raising her". I can't do anything to stop the stepmom from volunteering, and I appreciate both moms help. The mom and stepmom fight over who gets to chaperone field trips, who gets to help plan parties at the school, ect. Both are in the PTA and Mom doesn't think thats the stepmom's place since her daughter is only with the stepmom on the weekends. The stepmom has gotten upset with me cause I can't discuss her stepdaughter's progress without her husband(the girl's father) present. Thats not my rule, but the school. I just can not discuss things with a noncustodial stepparent. I am only allowed to discuss things with the parents, and if the parent brings the stepparent along then I can discuss things with them too. Mothers day is coming up, and we are having a Mothers day brunch. Both Mom and Stepmom are competing over this and want to be in charge of it to proove they are "Mom". I will be so glad when the school year is over and I don't have to deal with them anymore.

 

[sosad]

rules

Your school has rules. Whenever one of them complains about something state the appropriate school rule and then stop commenting. If they continue tell them to see admin if they want the rules changed.

What responsibility do the room mothers have for the Mother's Day brunch? Your room mother should have exactly the same responsibiltiy.

I feel so for the poor little girl involved in this power struggle. Your involvement with this will end soon, but hers will go on and on.
Does the stepmom have any children of her own in the school?

I'd be tempted to say it's a Mother's Day brunch and I am not involving any of the mothers in the planning. I'd then just do all the work myself if I could.

 

[musicbug]

I agree with so sad

If at all possible do it yourself and say that "Moms are the special guests and are invited to enjoy and leave the rest to us." The kids will treat this extra special if you give them some role in setting this up. Good luck.

 

[annon]

Been there

My second year teaching I had this happen. Mom was trying to get dad to come home and she showed up daily looking like an ad model. Child rotated houses weekly. Whenever stepmom at school they were barely civil. Ugh. I would ask some dad's to plan the brunch so mom's could rest. Good luck

 

[c green]

Poor kid

At least you get evenings and weekends off. Can you imagine what it's like for this child? Yeesh. Note to all: if you have kids, or are married to someone who does, you need to learn to act like a decent person. Fast.

I agree with the last poster. Suggest that the dads honor the moms by organizing the brunch! This kid only has one dad, and everyone agrees he gets the title, correct?