Arghhhhh!!!!

[Mindfull]

I am sorry but I have no place to vent but here. A few posts ago I talked about a six year old who has been booted out of two schools in our district and now I am the lucky one who gets him. Since Jan. he has had 31 days of suspension. He left my principal black and blue, the school nurse, secretary and myself with bumps and brieses. He has terrorized my students and anyone else he comes near. He picks fights every few minutes for no reason. He tells the most outrageous lies about other students and demands I discipline them while he watches. Sorry that doesn't happen. He throws chairs, and anything he can lift or grab when he goes into one of his temper tantrums. The last time the police were called to take care of it. Mom would not come. She actually hung up on the school secretary 2 times before she came. Only when she found out the cops were there. Ok physically I survived and so did my kids with only a few bumps and bruises. Who knows how far the emotional scars will go. Anyway there was an expulsion hearing that I was not allowed to be a part of. Mom did not come but grandfather who takes care of him most of the time. The super said that they cound not continue because the grandfather was not the legal guardian. In the mean time I have submitted a letter requesting he be removed from my room.
I was told by my principal that he would not return to my classroom. End of story. HA!!! He is back in my room and my union is not responding to my request to have him removed and my super is not returning my calls and guess what the principal has mysteriously taken a leave of absence. Her first day gone was his (the kids) first day back. There was an intrim principal who handled things very well but there was not a question if the kid stayed in my room or not. At least I had some support but the stress is just too much. I found out there was a contract with the district and the parent and part of it was a meeting with me, the principal, the social worker and the parent. The meeting happened without me. I had no knowledge of it. This has happened several times with other situations. I can't take it any more. It is like walking a tight rope with a time bomb around your neck. One false move and BOOM!!!! I just had to get it off my chest. I also ended up sick and have been gone for 2 days. I am seriously thinking of taking a few more sick days off because I am tired of crying everday. I have two boys diagnosed with bipolar disorder so this is just more than I can handle. Thanks for the vent. You are a life saver.

 

[Rosberry]

Hugs to you!

Wow, you have been going through a lot! I am not in a great place right now myself. I had a student today who has ODD and is in grade 5 tell me that I would die today and that he was going to kill me. I am in a very small school and of course our principal was away today. I went home crying today as well, and then to end my perfect day I got a big rock chip in my windshield of my truck. So I feel for you and wish you all of the best!!!

 

[Kim/4th/SC]

Can't believe this!

Mindfull,
I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with all this. It's not fair to you or your children. Sounds like this child has some serious issues and needs more help and support than can be provided in a regular classroom setting. I hope things improve soon.

Kim

 

[Mindfull]

Thanks

I was out sick for 2 days and when I came back he was suspended for 10 days again. He is in the middle of an evaluation for Special Ed but how can they complete it if he is suspended all the time. Anyways it was peaceful without him there and then another kid who is super mouthy and hyper got suspended for mouthing off to the principal. About time some one else deals with what I hear all day. We had a great class today.
I am so sorry you have to deal with a 5th grade ODD. Scary and emotionally draining. I have been threatened 3 times this year by two different students that I would be killed and be all bloody forever. Really leaves you dazed. How do these kids get so messed up? HUMMM!!! could it be tv, video games, music they listen to? I asked one of my professors how much is enough for a teacher? No one else would put up with this kind of behavior but a teacher. IT's crazy.
anyways thanks for the support.

 

[bj3]

I would say it is lawyer time

There is no way that I would take what you are taking! I would get a lawyer (my own, not the school's) and sue the sucker. And every single one of the parents in your classroom should do the same. Once a label gets put on this monster, you won't have the leverage because he will be "acting according to his disorder"...therefore can't "help" what he does!! For right now, this is assault. Do you have a parent who can call in a complaint to the police? And where in the world do you teach? As I have said before on this site, does ANYONE have a principal that is doing THEIR JOB??????

 

[Mindfull]

Maybe

Somewhere someplace there is a principal doing their job. Mine is angry with me because during her absence I allowed this child back into my room. Can you believe it. I was told with no choice that he WAS back in my room by the interim principal. Now I am getting it from the person that is supposed to be my support. Anyways as I said he is suspended for 10 days so I will enjoy these days. When and if he comes back at that time then I suppose I will park myself in the superintendants office until I get some forward action. Right now it is so hot at my school I don't even go out of my room for lunch. Why are principals so haywire on power? I have thought about a lawyer but getting into a mess like that would probably kill any chances of working in the county I live in. They run the other way if they find out a teacher was involved in a lawsuit. I am looking for a new district or at least a building transfer. I am still low in the seniority list (bottom 30%) Thanks for all the encouragement.

 

[Laura]

Union

I am not sure that your union really knows what is going on. Perhaps you need to file police reports on what is going on. Having it in more than one place is the only way to go.

 

[tish]

It's Police Report Time!

I definitely would file a police report. A similiar situation happened to me and my principal was very supportive. The student was suspended, but my principal wanted me to go to the police and file a report. She even went with me.

 

[Survivor]

Get Help!

Mindful,
It sounds like you have been through a lot. These are my suggestions:
- it sounds like the boy has severe emotional problems and needs to get help very soon
-he needs to be admitted to a hospital because he is a danger to others
-call the police every time he hurts someone
-call the office every time he does anything that could harm the other children or you
-his mom should come and sit by him all day until he gets help
- your student needs a lot of positive feedback back for anything that you see him doing well

I had a student who had some of the same behaviors. She had a very severe temper and would tear apart a whole room in minutes. She hurt many children and bit the principal about 3 times. She would run out of my room and around the school and had to be chased by her resource teacher. She was only in resource a very short time each day. Her mom admitted her to a hospital and she was later put in a district behavior unit. I later heard that during the summer she almost killed a girl and was put in the state hospital for over a year. She was 7 years old.
*I hope you can make it through this hard time. Good luck!

 

[Survivor]

Get help!

Mindfull (I spelled your name wrong on the last reply),

I forgot to suggest to you that you try to take care of yourself. You've got to try to relax and destress each day. Try to look for the positives each day like the good things your other students are doing. Try to ignore your student as much as you can unless he tries to hurt others.
Good Luck!

 

[Mindfull]

Well

The good news is he is suspended for 10 days and the other good news is he is not coming back to my room but he is still in the district and someone else will have to deal with him until the Special Education testing is done. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy but I have to say I am relieved that the will not be back. We had a good relationship but he had the uncontrolable rages that hurt people and me included. I took the advise of a friend and decided to take care of myself and the other children and understand that I can't save everybody.
I do have a police report on file and my principal did not want me to do it but I did anyway.
Thanks for your support. I really needed a kind word. I felt like I was going insane. It is not just his rages but the other 6 I have on meds for severe ADHD and bi-polar and him was just too much for one person to take. Hats off to special ed teachers. I know he will do fine in a small group with lots of one-on-one attention and meds. Social Services is also checking on him and the situation at home. The kid is too sexually explicit to not have something going on. At least the process has been started. I can't figure out why it took 3 schools to do this. He is on the prayer list at my church. It is so hard when your heart tells you stick with it and your mind and common sense says, "idiot, get a grip." After this ordeal I am rethinking my master program. I am almost finished with my Special Ed Masters. Who knows.

 

[2ndGradeChick]

wow...i commend you. that's a lot to handle. i don't understand either why it took 3 schools and terrorized a lot of children before social services checked in on him???

Keep your head up and know that you did what you could and maybe now he will get the help he really needs.

 

[Been there]

For future reference . . .

I just wanted to point something out in case anyone has to handle something like this in the future. Do NOT call the POLICE in situations like this -- DO call 911 and ask that the PARAMEDICS or EMTs be sent b/c you have a child who is having an emotional breakdown and has become a danger to himself or others. The teacher should accompany the child in the ambulance or follow the ambulance to the hospital to be available to answer the doctor's questions until the parents arrive. If the doctor sees the level of rage/out of control behavior and you are describing what happenned (in a very factual, non-emotional way), he will be able to put the child into a facility for evaluation on a 36 hour hold. Child protection will also be called in most situations. From there, they can begin to make more long-range plans for managing and treating the child.

You need to check with people in your area to be sure that your local laws would support this, but this tends to be the fastest way to get help, and that is your ultimate goal.

 

[kinderfriend]

I know what you are talking about

I have just gone through this and what a long road it has been. Fits, throwing chairs, tantrums when the child did not get his way (things like dropping his pencil on the floor and not wanting to pick it up). While all the paperwork and evaluations, etc. were being taken care of, he was still in my classroom...everyday....7:30am-3:00pm....Did I say everyday? I found a few ways to deal with this small, but highly aggressive 5 year old child.

*During circle time, I would give him a child rocking chair to sit in because he was always rocking and touching other kids on the carpet. So when something would start to bother him, he could grab the armrests and rock back and forth.
*During "work time" I would give him a walkman to listen to with a choice of music depending on the mood. This seemed to calm him and "took him to his own little world."
*I tried to keep him busy at all times. He would have specific jobs to help with. The choices he got to make were very minimal since he already demonstrated that he chooses poorly (consciously or unconsciously).
*Music helped him so much. I started singing everything. He didn't like the teacher saying "Sit down" but when I would makeup a song off the top-of-my-head, he didn't seem to have a problem following the directions. Example: "_______ sit down. _____ sit down." Clap, clap, clap
*Since I knew there was something wrong and he was strongly being considered for a special needs unit, I tried not to give consequences like sitting out. Basically the punishment would be the "fit" then he would calm down and join circle. If I punished him, it would only take longer for the class to get back to somewhat normal and I felt like he needed coaching through this difficult rage that I clearly don't think he had control over.

Okay...so after all this....he has been moved to a special needs unit. It took a while, alot of patience, and some creativity. Hopefully some of these suggestions helped. If you have any for me, for the future, let me know.

Hang in there.

 

[Mindfull]

Wow

You have some great ideas and I wish I had thought about the walkman. I do sing to my children all the time. I hate yelling and this works for us. I too make up songs off the top of my head to fit any given situation. Their (the students) favorite is R.E.S.P.E.C.T chorus same as original song but verse is our class norms (rules) When things are going great a student or myself might sing Sugar Pie Honey Bunch you know that I love you, can't help myslef I love you and everybody else. We like That's the way I like it, And YMCA. Young man, better get on the ball, I said young man, I'll say it once and for all, I said young man/lady get that book open now or you'll get your card flipped because it's fun to work at School name, .... We use who let the Dogs out and on and on. IT sure changes the mood quickly.
I don't know why it took 3 schools to get this testing started. Mom can no longer be in denial. Too much documentation. She kept blaming the teacher or principal.
Thanks for your suggestions. I will use these with the 2 others that are a huge challenge.

 

[ITeach]

Co-op is it you?

Mindfull,

You sould like my co-operating teacher I had for student teaching. She had a kindergartner who was out of control and OCD. Since he was only in kindergarten he had a hard time trying to be diagnosed. My co-op kept him on a behavioral mod plan. That did not seem to work either. He would throw chairs, pencils, scream and yell at quiet time, try to hit the other children, principals, and teachers. My co-op tried several times to contact and discuss the situation with the child's parents and they would refuse to listen. The grandmother was the only person who was somewhat cooperative. I found it very frustrating to watch her put all of her effort into getting this child some help and there wasn't anything that she could do. Every time she thought she was getting help either from the principal or the grandmother-she was let down. I graduated with an elementary ed degree but I am still haunted by this experience.