Baby Shower-asking for $

[MrsJ]

My sister-in-law just had a baby and didn't have a shower before the baby was born. She is in the navy and came home to her parents while her husband is in Iraq. So, we decided to have an open house in honor of her and the baby. However, she isn't registered anywhere and doesn't want any big items, but would like money instead. I think it is kind of rude, but she wants it on the invitation. Any ideas on how to word it? A money shower?

 

[Alicia]

I'm assuming she is visiting for awhile and will go back to wherever she lives? Maybe you can add an insert to the invitation saying something to the effect that because she must travel back to (city) with a small baby, she would prefer a monetary gift rather than items due to traveling back with a small child.

In my opinion, that reason makes giving money only very justifiable.

 

[musicbug]

I don't know if this helps......

My parents when they married had a double "greenback shower". All they got was money gifts. This was in the late'60's so take it for what it's worth.

 

[tia]

money tree

we've had a "money tree" for showers before--there are these little plastic trees--i suppose you could get one at a rental place or party store--they look like you should stick gumdrops at the pointy ends of the branches (maybe that's what it was for! but it's what we used.)

and we took the money donated and folded it accordian-style and tied it up with little pink/blue/yellow ribbon and tied it on tree--it was actually quite pretty!

(these were for second babies, so nothing big was needed--like high chairs or strollers....)

actually one of those showers was for me, and i loved it (it wasn't my decision, but when suggested, i was thrilled and said okay) i ended up buying TONS of diapers, wipes, binkies, etc because i always hated running out at the last minute to get something for my first baby. i took a picture of the haul (so everyone knew how i'd spent the money) and enclosed it with my thank yous.

i'm sure you could find a tactful way to request money on the invitation. but i think it would be weird for guests to show up with the money....i wonder if there is a way you can collect it beforehand.

 

[kali]

asking for money

Hi J,
The diffucult thing is, there is no tackful way to ask or request money as a gift. It is very bad taste to ever ask for a gift, especially cash, and extremely rude to include any gift request in an invitation. When it comes right down to it, although it has become somewhat acceptable in the current culture, even registering for gifts is a NO NO. When a person gives a party, they are lucky to get presents but they should never expect them! If I ever got an invitation that requested money I would be insulted, and would not go to the event.

 

[Carrie in WV]

Money Tree

I agree with the poster above who suggested a money tree. Wouldn't it be cute to use that same idea, but translate it into something "babyish"? You could make a clothesline and "hang" small cloth or paper diapoers and then have extra clothespins with money attached. You could go ahead and hang some on the "line" before the party started and then people would get the idea.

I guess some people are offended by being asked for money or gifts, but there are people who have a generous nature who realize we all need a little help in the beginning! "It's more blessed to give..." Those that give know that what goes around comes around!! Those who give get blessed!

 

[kali]

carrie..

Sure Carrie, giving someone a gift of any kind is a wonderful feeling and being generous is a good thing, especially when it is for someone in need. However giving because it feels right to do is a whole lot different then giving because you have been sent a request in the mail!

Mrs.J you seem to be using your instinct when you questioned this and you are right, there is no easy way to ask for something. The best way out of this is to plan a fun baby shower, do not register anywhere, and know you are going to host a great time.

Most people go to a baby shower with a gift (it is never to be expected, that is just rude). Often people will ask the host if they know what the new mommy needs. chances are close family will just ask her directly. If someone asks you, you could just say, I think gift cards and cash are what she needs the most, but she will be happy you just come!

It is really not nice to ruin an invitation with a gift request included, its 100% tacky.

 

[MandyT]

I agree that it is slightly rude to ask for money as a gift for a shower however, you need to take certain things into consideration. For example, my fiance' and I live in Nebraska and our wedding is going to be where I grew up in Massachusetts. My Mom wants to give me a shower and it would be really hard to bring gifts back on the plane. Also, we have most things we need for our household. There are exceptions I believe, like this. Or, just simply put "no gifts please" and just have it be a get together to celebrate!

 

[fun_friend]

It is kind of tacky to expect cash. But these are modern times. Maybe you can make a money tree or something.