I had, perhaps, the most bizarre thing happen today that I have ever experienced in my entire teaching career. I really would appreciate any and all thoughts on what took place and advice about how you would handle it.
At the very end of the day, literally as I was calling groups to pack up for dismissal, one of my third-grade students came to me visibly upset to ask if he could speak to me. Since I had bus duty and we were already running late, I initially tried to brush him off by asking if we could discuss it tomorrow. At this point, the child began to sob uncontrollably. Obviously, I knew that I needed to address the problem then and there, so I asked him what was wrong. Even though I had pulled him aside to talk to him privately, he was nonetheless visible to the rest of the class. He proceeded to tell me at great length and in elaborate detail that his seven year-old cousin had been shot and killed the previous day. By this time he was completely distraught. I tried to question him as delicately as I could to find out what exactly had taken place and to offer whatever consolation I could. I assured him that I would speak to his parents to see what help they could offer to get him through his sadness and, also, that I would set aside time tomorrow to speak to him further. At this point, he had the full attention of the rest of the class and many of them (even the ones who have had personality clashes with him in the past) quickly stepped up to try to comfort him.
As soon as I was able to get to a phone, I called the father to let him know what had taken place and to ask if there was anything in particular that I could do to further help the child. I was completely dumbfounded when the father told me that there was not an ounce of truth in what I had been told by the boy. I then described how convincing the child had been in pulling off this charade, not only to me, but to his classmates as well. I expressed concern that this was obviously an extreme move to attract attention and that this degree of elaborate detail whereby the child seemed to be unable, or unwilling, to distinguish fact from fiction, was not normal for a nine year old. I strongly suggested that the father speak to the pediatrician and seek counseling to get to the root of the issues that might be provoking this behavior. I also stated that the child has been demonstrating an increasingly high level of truth-stretching in recent weeks, but that this episode was far beyond my scope of professional expertise. The father said he would discuss it with the child, but, in all likelihood, there will be nothing further that will happen.
What disturbs me most about this whole thing is that I have a couple of students who have witnessed this type of violence in their own families and I am very concerned about what kind of turmoil this might precipitate in them, especially since this child really pulled out all of the stops to garner sympathy.
Has anyone ever experienced something like this? How did you handle it? If you have never personally had this happen, what would you do in such a situation? How do I ever believe what this kid says in the future? HELP!!
At the very end of the day, literally as I was calling groups to pack up for dismissal, one of my third-grade students came to me visibly upset to ask if he could speak to me. Since I had bus duty and we were already running late, I initially tried to brush him off by asking if we could discuss it tomorrow. At this point, the child began to sob uncontrollably. Obviously, I knew that I needed to address the problem then and there, so I asked him what was wrong. Even though I had pulled him aside to talk to him privately, he was nonetheless visible to the rest of the class. He proceeded to tell me at great length and in elaborate detail that his seven year-old cousin had been shot and killed the previous day. By this time he was completely distraught. I tried to question him as delicately as I could to find out what exactly had taken place and to offer whatever consolation I could. I assured him that I would speak to his parents to see what help they could offer to get him through his sadness and, also, that I would set aside time tomorrow to speak to him further. At this point, he had the full attention of the rest of the class and many of them (even the ones who have had personality clashes with him in the past) quickly stepped up to try to comfort him.
As soon as I was able to get to a phone, I called the father to let him know what had taken place and to ask if there was anything in particular that I could do to further help the child. I was completely dumbfounded when the father told me that there was not an ounce of truth in what I had been told by the boy. I then described how convincing the child had been in pulling off this charade, not only to me, but to his classmates as well. I expressed concern that this was obviously an extreme move to attract attention and that this degree of elaborate detail whereby the child seemed to be unable, or unwilling, to distinguish fact from fiction, was not normal for a nine year old. I strongly suggested that the father speak to the pediatrician and seek counseling to get to the root of the issues that might be provoking this behavior. I also stated that the child has been demonstrating an increasingly high level of truth-stretching in recent weeks, but that this episode was far beyond my scope of professional expertise. The father said he would discuss it with the child, but, in all likelihood, there will be nothing further that will happen.
What disturbs me most about this whole thing is that I have a couple of students who have witnessed this type of violence in their own families and I am very concerned about what kind of turmoil this might precipitate in them, especially since this child really pulled out all of the stops to garner sympathy.
Has anyone ever experienced something like this? How did you handle it? If you have never personally had this happen, what would you do in such a situation? How do I ever believe what this kid says in the future? HELP!!
(sometimes).
