Confused

[Ms. Jagi]

I am dealing with a prediciment and need some help. I have been dating a guy for 8 months. He is 29, I am 24. Both of us are teachers. He told me from the beginning that he had a credit problem but got it all worked out. He is in the process of buying a car, and everything seems to be fine. Then I found a denial paper on his desk saying he was being denied by a credit card company because of his delinquincy with other credit companies. Does anyone have any advice for me? we have talked about it and he told me he had a credit rating of 700 something, which was a little low for a house loan that he was looking at, but everything else is fine. What do I do?

 

[wig]

Unless ...............

*he is borrowing money from you
*having you sign papers for him
*you are planning marriage ...........

............I would say nothing. This is his problem. By confronting him, you are also making it your problem

 

[MKat]

While I would agree that there's nothing you can do about it, I do see it as your problem if you are considering going forward with your relationship and someday combining finances with him. The fact that he underplayed the problem would be an issue for me as well.

I would back up the relationship unless and until you're sure he's been upfront about all his financial issues and has them under control. For me, feeling that someone wasn't very financially stable (without good reason like jobloss, illness, etc.) might be a dealbreaker.

 

[Tounces]

credit

I believe a credit rating of 700 something is good. I think he is being dishonest with you. I would not want to be in any kind of relationship where there's dishonesty already. It's one of those red flags that should tell you to move on.

 

[Ms. Jagi]

The relationship has been really good before this! He has been honest about stuff, so I don't know why he would be pulling this! His dad has gotten into financial trouble but not his mom, so you would think he would learn from this. I care about him so much, we have talked about marriage, i just really need help. Do I bring it up? HOw do I approach it? Is there anything i can do to check on it on my own? He doesn't know I found the denial paper on his desk, do I say something? I am just so upset by this....

 

[MrJohns]

As a guy!

No, do not anything on your own!!!!! If you feel that you can trust him.. then trust him! If you really care for him then let it be. If he asks you for help (not finacially) then have a conversation with him.

I do worry about the credit score....700 is a good score and unless the particualar credit card company has strict guidelines, then I don't know why he wasn't approved and if he is buying a car why is he trying to get a credit card for that when he knows he has trouble with debt. He should be looking into the local teacher's credit union.

Care for him, be there for him, and listen....don't act on your own especially behind his back.