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dad's will and estate



My dad is getting on in years, late 70's. He and my stepmom did a will several years ago but will not tell me whats in it, which concerns me. My mom raised me so I don't expect to be in my stepmom's will. I could care less about getting anything from her. But my dad and I have a close relationship(even though he's done some awful things to me as a child), however my stepmom is very controlling when it comes to money and I have always had a feeling she was out for my dad's money. When they got married she was always talking about how she wouldn't ever have to work again and was bragging about all the things my dad would buy her. My stepmom made sure that my dad provided a lot for my stepbrother(more than my dad ever provided for me), and I overheard a lot of arguments between them when my stepmom was furious at my dad for paying for something for me.

Since my dad and stepmom have been married they have bought two houses together. One that they live in now and a rent house. It would be nice to have something from that, but I don't expect it. My stepbrother has never been able to support himself so if my dad and stepmom wanted to give it all to him, I'd be a little hurt but I'd understand. Those are their houses together and my stepmother unfortunately has a say in it.

However my dad also has a house from when he and my mom were married. My stepmom does not own that house and her name is not on the deed. Only my dad's name is on the deed. My mom, dad and I lived in that house for 7 years until they divorced. After the divorce somehow my dad was able to get the entire house in the divorce settlement. I don't know if he tricked her or what. But we were forced to move out and lived in horrible apartments, all while my dad lived in a nice house. My dad marries my stepmom and she starts claiming the house as her house. That was my mother's house, and my mom put a lot of money into that house. I wish I knew how my dad got the house and how my mom ended up with nothing. Anyway my dad, stepmom and stepbrother only lived in the house for 1 year, compared to the 7 years that I lived in the house.

Seeing how my dad and stepmom have 2 houses together, I would think it would only be fair for me to get the house that my mom and dad shared together. But when I bring it up, my dad won't discuss it. Which makes me think that there is something he doesn't want me to know that is in his will until his death. I don't know if he plans to give everything to my stepmom and stepbrother, leave me with very little, or what. I would just like to know beforehand. I don't know if I should speak to an attorney now. But if my dad doesn't leave me the house that belonged to him and my mom, or leaves more to my stepmom and stepbrother do I have the right to sue them or contest the will?


Full Member

If your Dad doesn't want to discuss it, then I would let sleeping dogs lie. I have to tell you, it only sounds like you are 'waiting for them to kill over' to get what you can-- if you bring this up too much. Just enjoy your Dad while you have him. If he wants you to have something, he will take care of it.


dad's choice

There are a lot of variables to consider.

There may be one senario if your dad dies first, and another if your stepmom dies first.

Either your dad or your stepmom could become ill, go into a nursing home, and the assets would be used to pay. There could be no estate for you to worry about.

You said that your dad may have 'tricked' your mom during the divorce. Did you ever ask your mom why the division of assets was the way it was? A friend ended up with the house in his divorce. He had to buy the ex out at fair market value to end up with the house. Yes, he got the house but she got paid for her share of the home.

You said that you have asked to see your dad's will and he has refused. That does not mean that you will not get your fair share of the estate. He may fear that you will not approve and will stop seeing him if he shows it to you and you are not pleased.

If after your dad dies you are dissatisfied with the will, you could find a lawyer and try to challenge the will. However, challenging a will is very difficult and not often successful.


Senior Member

Ultimately, your parents (and the law), not you, decide where there estate goes when they pass on. Your dad has the right to do what he wants with the house, regardless of how he got it. There's nothing that can be done by speaking to an attorney now. Why do you need to know beforehand where your dad's stuff is going? I have no idea what's in my parents' will, nor do I care.

If you just want to know how your dad ended up with the house, then ask your mom.


Senior Member

I would just let it go. Enjoy the time you have with your father. What he chooses to do with his things is up to him and worrying about it now could only cause you great suffering later on. I have witnessed two families torn apart by issues surrounding estates and wills. Build your life for youself and you will be proud of what you have. If by chance, you receive something when your father passes that's fine but you don't need the things to remember your father. Don't let yourself get sucked in to the bitterness that surrounds feelings of entitlement. With all of the bad memories surrounding that house, I probably wouldn't want it anyway.