Do you "keep yourself up?"

[K-T]

DH and I are nearing our 8th anna. I'm finding that it takes a lot of extra effort to do things like shave my legs, not put on pj's as soon as I get home, generally looking nice at home. The past week I've put in more effort and it's actually getting his attention Am I the only one that finds it difficult to look nice for your spouse on a regular basis?

 

[dogs]

I really haven't thought about it until your post. I am always exhasted when I come home so I jump into sweat pants. My DH doesn't seem to mind. I do keep up with makeup and try to match the bra and panties even in the basics. I love comfort!

 

[MrChapp]

Yeah, I've only been married a year and I'm like that. I was like that when we were dating. Now that winter's here, I shave my legs once a week (on the weekends, if I feel like it). I put on PJs or lounging clothes immediately. I rarely wear makeup, even to work. I'm pretty low maintenance, I guess. That, and anything I can skip for 5 extra minutes of sleep....

The things I keep up on to "keep myself up" is more for me-- pedicures at the place with the massage chairs and getting my eyebrows done. He generally doesn't notice those things anyway, even when I tell him that's where I'm going.

 

[Hifiman]

No

It got to be such a chore making sure I brushed my teeth and showered EVERY day. The whole reason I got married was so I could let myself go.

 

[Penny]

comfort's more important

I've been married for 14 years. I change as soon as I get home (into workout/sleep clothes). I don't wear makeup on weekends--or even some week days. My evening goal is to come home, get comfortable, and hang out on the couch with my cat. I go to bed by 9:00 when possible.

My husband doesn't complain. Of course we don't get romantic very often, but 14 years, two kids, and a dog and cat do that to people. He'd complain if I tried to get romantic. He wants to work out, shower, and play on the computer.

 

[h0kie]

Doesn't mind a bit

Well, I've never worn make-up, so DH doesn't miss that. As for changing as soon as I get home, I have to race the man up the stairs to see who can get changed first. We do it more to keep our school clothes from getting cat hair on them.

We're a lot alike, me and DH. A LOT alike.

 

[lisakae2]

Sexy

My SO thinks it's "sexy" for me to wear no make-up and my glasses. He thinks it makes me look sophisticated - so on the weekends I love it!! It is just HARD to be a girl...nails, watching your weight, tanning, hair color, eyebrows, etc. etc. etc. HELP!!! It takes a lot of work and it costs a lot of money. So I come home every night and put on HIS sweats. He doesn't complain.

 

[lenarmc]

I do

I stay in my school clothes until I get ready to go to bed. I don't find it difficult to look nice for my husband on a regular basis. He does the same. I used to not be like that, but I decided that if I don't look nice for my husband and keep the home fires burning. I figured if I don't look good for my husband someone else will.
BTW, don't you just love the attention?!

 

[chteacher]

I didn't

and he'd complain that my pants were too baggy...I'd come home from school and usually curl up in a ball and weep...boy those were the good ol' days!

In the nearly 25 years I was with this man I can say that I really didn't keep myself up. Part of it was college, kids, work, but to be honest I was trying to keep him from seeking my affections too frequently. When you have been giving to others all day you just want to go to bed and sleep! So I think that I must have known if I looked even better then I better be prepared to reject him more. Doesn't that sound mean?

Physically and nutritionally speaking I have always kept myself up. I'd die if I couldn't outrun a second grader! I race kids and I win.

I think that when you are deeply in love with a man you want to please him in every way, all the time. When you get married somehow that desire fizzles, but it takes two. I think couples that continue to go out and date are doing it right.

BTW a previous poster said her SO didn't notice her pedicure etc, I bet he notices a happy you! keep it up.

 

[singingsara]

To a certain extent.....

I do try to keep myself up and looking nice--not just for my husband (I've only been married 6 months, BTW), but in general. I just don't feel good if I know I look sloppy. I don't think I own a pair of sweatpants. But if I'm cleaning the house, or cooking dinner and I know I'll get messy, I usually wear a comfortable skirt and a tank top or something along those lines.
My model is my parents; they've been married 37 years and things are still "hot" between them. (It's never freaked me out to know that--I hope my husband and I are still as attracted to one another when we've been married that long!) I think a lot of the reason is because they keep themselves fit and looking nice for one another. I know it makes my dad proud when they go out and people see how attractive and put-together my mom is. It works the same way for my mom, too. They're also compatible intellectually and emotionally, but I don't think you can downplay the physical part of it, either.

 

[mgndvd]

agree w chteacher n singing sara

Thinking back, I think I purposefully wore baggy pants, no make-up etc... when I started to leave my marriage - at least emotionally ( always kept physically fit though). Should have taken my own hints earlier... Now that I'm in love, I keep myself up all the time even though my SO is not here to see me. I shower and change as soon as I get home , to get rid of the day's grime and be ready for my 'other life'...and I still choose sexy home clothes, like well worn jeans, crisp nice white shirt or short skirt and fitted top... Very little make-up, no nail polish though, not my style. For me it's definitely a state of mind... When I keep myself up, my self image is so much more positive. Good topic

 

[gu]

up

I guess I'm lucky. My husband likes me the way I am. My comfortable clothes don't bother him at all. He's always looking at me no matter what. He prefers me without makeup so that's easy. He doesn't really notice my hair when I get it cut or colored. He tries to say something nice about it when he finds out I had an appointment though. I would like to lose some weight but have had difficulty due to surgery and injuries. He understands and just wants to to feel better about that. I'm still a decent weight though. I shouldn't have to dress up for my husband. He sure doesn't for me. I don't care either. I married the man not his clothes, etc. There is no fizzling here. We are very attracted to each other and always will be.

 

[SusanTeach]

keeping up

I think I've always made an effort to keep myself somewhat "up" (I've been married almost 16 years) - but I don't really find it hard. I might slip on the shaving occasionally, but for the most part I'm clean and not frumpy (I do lounge in jammies on Sat. mornings - does that count?!).

However, I think all this started when I lived on a busy corner when I was single. I had people stop by without calling a LOT, so I learned to be ready for company at any moment. I'm not like Mrs. Cleaver with the dresses and high heels , but I do look presentable.

 

[MrsM]

almost to 9th anniversary

I guess I'm like lenarmc, I stay in my school clothes until almost bedtime. I like to give him the opportunity to tell me what a great outfit I put together that day for school. When we get comfortable it's to cuddle in bed for the last hour of TV before lights out. It's not too much of an effort. He tells me I'm his girlfriend, because that's sexier than a wife.

That being said, there are weekend days that he has to work, and I don't have errands to run, so I stay in pajamas all day. He'll come home and grin at me and tell me how sexy I look. No problem with home fires burning here! Hmmm...could there be a causal relationship?

 

[hkinner]

not married yet

I am in my mid-20s and been dating someone for three year. I have never kept myself up and I love comfort. Somedays I love the feeling of dressing up and feeling sexy, but my boyfriend is already used to the fact that I will wear pj bottoms and jeans over anything dressy. He always tells me that I look adorable in my pjs and in the blankets covering me.

 

[Grade4Teach]

Keep up in our own way

I keep up for when I go to work or we are going out. I do shave everyday year round. That said, when I get home, I change right from my school clothes/going out clothes to my pj's. If I am home, I always have on pj's but so does my husband. We don't mind that. As for makeup, I keep it on until I wash up to go to bed. I don't think it matters what you are wearing as long as you are happy and communicate. Just my two cents!

 

[Toni]

Yes, I "keep" myself up

but not just for DH. I also do it for me. I try to watch my weight, keep my nails buffed, wear stylish clothing (which I wear all day!.) I just can't go out without some makeup and my hair styled. I think that is just that whole "southern belle" thing that my family has going on. I don't change purses with every outfit any longer, and it's ok to wear just plain pearl earrings each day.

DH evidently likes the results. We've been together almost 29 years and we still want to dance in the dark together.

 

[singingsara]

Does comfort=sloppy?

I'm not making a comment about any posts in particular--this is more of an in-general. So, so often, I hear people make comments like "I just want to be comfortable!" when talking about their sweats, stretched-out T shirts, etc. Comfort doesn't have to mean sloppy--it's just as comfortable to put on a stretchy skirt or cute pair of jeans, some ballet flats and a cute top. Looking presentable doesn't always mean you're wearing high heels and underwear that cuts off your circulation.

I don't know, for me it's just always felt LESS comfortable if I know I look sloppy. I'd rather take the extra 5 minutes in the morning and know that when people look at me, they'll see someone who took the time to put herself together. Of course, we're all guilty of running to get a quart of milk in flip-flops and ratty jeans, but I'd like to think that's the exception, not the rule. Also, I was always taught that you never know who you'll run into.

 

[dkd1173]

Yes...to an extent

I shave my legs daily (or at least every other day, if I get a little lazy). I get manicures and pedicures. When I leave the house I am always "fixed" - makeup, hair done, nice clothes, etc. However, when I'm at home I do like to be comfortable. PJ pants, T-shirts, sweats, etc. Not the sexiest of looks, I know. My husband does the same thing though so I don't think he minds too much. After all, you can always just take off whatever you're wearing!

 

[flutterbuggy]

not married yet

I'm not married yet but I've been with my bf for almost 5 years. As soon as I get home from work, I throw on comfy clothes. I dont wear any make up except for lip gloss and my bf always tells me that he loves that about me. No matter what I'm wearing, work clothes or pj pants, my bf if constantly telling me how cute, pretty or sexy I am. Now I'm sure he wouldnt be disappointed if I had a nice cocktail dress on, however, I think he really loves it when I'm dressed in my pjs and can cuddle up on the couch!

 

[mom2boys]

keeping up

I've always thought that "keeping up" the sweet stuff was more important than "keeping up" appearances. (We met in college, so appearances were kind of low to begin with.) We always make a point to ASK each other to do things and to say thanks. We'd stop and look at each other whenever we were speaking. We'd make a point to do the little stuff that the other one appreciated- I rolled his socks like his momma did and the rest of the family's the right way. Beyond that, I did shave everyday, because I expected him to do the same for me. And in my opinion, any man who ever wears tighy whiteys can never complain about what a woman puts on to feel comfortable at home!