dumbing down homework

[kt3]

I have a set of parents who have been doing their kid's homework all year. In the fall it was actually coming in in their handwriting. I told them that that needs to stop, and they fought me on it. They said it was neater and easier for me to read if they wrote it. This is sixth grade, by the way. These parents constantly send notes asking that I write out the lesson so they can understand it. Or they call me at home asking questions. The last phone message I didn't respond to, and the next day I told the boy that his parents need to listen to HIM since I know that he knows how to do the work. They refuse to trust him, and he's a really neat kid. His homework is all A work. His classwork is C and D. He has no confidence in himself, and he doubts his judgement, gee, I wonder why!! Today was just the one that put me over the edge. I got a long letter from the dad requesting a conference, it would have to be after 5:00, and that they want all his homework shortened because it takes up too much of their evening. They also made a list of "formal and informal requirements" for me to follow. (I don't have a clue what that means.) I wrote a polite, but firm, note back to them that they were to let their son do all his homework on his own from now on. They could be there to explain things, but they were not to sit down with him and do the homework for him. I told them that we would try this method for the next two - three weeks so I could have an honest picture of what he could do and could not do on his own. I also told them that unless he had a special ed requirement that the homework would not be adjusted. Their problem is that their two older daughters were quite smart, and this boy is a great kid, but he is not a scholar. And they want A's.

 

[Barbryan]

Wow! Good luck...

My heart goes out to you, and to that little boy with the overbearing parents. Hang in there--he needs you!

 

[GB]

Chuck the list...

Get ahold of his 4th and/or 5th grade teacher and ask them quickly what kind of response they got about homework. Explain the issues, but don't take up too much of their or your time. Just get some info and get out...

Go through his permanent file since you have a problem. Ours was in the office safe, and the secretary would just give us the key. They don't bother to ask why, and don't tell. Maybe you'll find a note about it from before. You could look at prior year grades, too. Maybe you should include a note for the middle school teachers in there if they are really serious. (If there's no note, then they haven't tried this before now.)

These things may give you an insight, and won't take very long to research. 6th Grade? Don't budge on the homework issue. There's expectations. What is he involved in at night? Find that out at your meeting. If he's in a ton of extracurriculars, then yeah, no time for homework. Take your stance as a teacher. Relay that schoolwork is most important, and that's HIS job right now to do. Don't suggest he drop everything extracurricular, of course, that would hurt him. But you might find out they are excessively involved in things. Keep digging. I bet they haven't gotten away with this before, so don't let them *manipulate* you!!!!

Poor kid--he's under a lot of pressure. But if he's not Mr. A+ all the time, it's the parents' bitterness issue. Just don't let them make you the scapegoat for it.

 

[kt3]

haven't heard from parents yet

Thank you for all the advice. Unfortunately, the teacher he had last year quit mid-year. She had a lot of personal issues and just could not face work. The sub that finished out the year was ok for a day to day job, but not for long term. So I can understand why the parents are so uptight about some issues. I sent the note home yesterday, but have not heard back from them, which is unusual. My principal is aware of the situation, and he agrees with how I handled it. As for his permanent file, I checked it earlier and they have tried to get him tested for special ed, but he does not qualify. There is a glitch in his learning processes. I am a very structured teacher, but we do a lot of projects and writing which require a lot of work. This guy does operate as if all his "spark plugs" aren't firing, but with some guidance he can do ok, just not A's. Today his book report notes came in for our timeline project, and they were totally in his mother's handwriting.

 

[GB]

Okay...

What you're describing is that they got it easy-peasy with a sub and a 5th teacher that probably couldn't perform her job. Also, they are aware that he's been referred for services before, but probably hoping to put you on the spot.

As for parent's blatantly doing the homework, ask him about it. Maybe, if you feel he should, he needs to redo it at school himself during the day or tell him that in the future any homework not done by him will have to be made up by him. I understand that he needs handled with kid-gloves, too. But the parents are really manipulating you, by turning in work they've written. Since your principal is supportive, let him/her know as well, and show the work. Their son is probably an about-average kid. They need to accept it that he's not high academically. I'm sure that he has interests or inclination toward a niche in life that you can feed them with "hope" for their "wayward" child.