Explaining 'fair'

[c green]

A bunch of my ESL students have little pocket translator devices. I put up with them. When I first saw them I thought they were cool, but I realize now that a number of my kids are using them in unsmart ways. (Most recent story: I presented a short lecture on slavery in the early colonies. I explained what it means to own something, and explained that people were also owned in the time and place we're talking about. Lots of questions, interactive stuff, examples. I then asked them to write a definition of 'slave'.

One little girl wrote solemnly that a slave is a healing ointment.

She'd typed in 'salve'. It took me a moment. But she wouldn't fix it. A number of my guys don't bother to use our class materials or LEARN vocabulary, they think they can look it up.)

Anyway, I ban them for tests. But we have one little girl who speaks NO English, basically, and she takes hers out. I had this pointed out to me. I said 'she can do it'.

"NOT FAIR!" they screamed.

I said we'd discuss it after the test. I had to talk endlessly before then to one kid who was infuriated about this.

Me: Newgirl is very new to English.

He: Me too!

Me: She's so new she should be in a beginner's class, but there isn't one. You had a beginner's class last year, remember? You had a chance to learn these words.

He: Noooooooo.

Me: Yes you did!

He: Nooooooooo.

Me: I know you did, because I taught that class. You don't remember being in my class last year?

He: I don't remember.

Me: I remember. You got A's. Now you have to do it on your own, but we're going to let Newgirl use the translator till she catches up.

He: Not fair! How come she gets to use it?

I tried to talk to the whole class later about it, but they talked and rustled and ignored me, except when they occasionally focused on the subject and said "Not fair!" again.

I wrote on the board 'Fair is not giving everyone the same, fair is giving everyone what they need,' but they weren't having any.

How would you explain this to middle schoolers?

 

[dee]

Well....

I thought you did great, especially with middle schoolers...

Anyone in your class wear glasses? Or possibly anyone on crutches? Would they insist on using crutches if someone had a cast but they didn't?

What if they were given the same list as newgirl so they could see how far they've come along? Maybe they would realize that she is really really needy and they aren't.

Most ELL classes I know do not allow electronic translators except for at home. Kind of dedeats the purpose of the ELL class. BUT, that's my opinion. We don't allow them within our school, even for the newest children.

Hope this helps.

 

[Ima Teacher]

I've got a really good article on why "fair" doesn't mean "equal". I've got a copy of it hanging by my desk and have been known to read from it whenever a chorus of "That's not fair" arises in my classroom.

I can post it if you'd like to see it.

 

[dee]

Please post!

I know I'd like to read it to some teachers who don't seem to "get" it either.

 

[imalith]

please post

I'd like to see it too. Ty

 

[lisia]

fair

I tell them fair is everyone getting what THEY need. In my house I don't buy shoes for everyone just because one of my kids needs a new pair. When one of my kids is sick and needs a shot, I dont bring all of them in for a shot.

 

[dramacentral]

fair is not equal

I deal with this with my fourth graders all the time... many of them have the social skills of younger kids and when they say something isn't fair, what they really mean is that they, personally, don't get the benefit of whatever it is. Unfortunately this message is generally reinforced by society and parents, who teach kids that they are entitled to everything they want!

Example: My reading group had a lovely party to celebrate finishing our trade book, with food and juice and games. The next day, the reading group next door had a party, and had soda (which I do not allow!) A kid in my group vociferously complained about not getting to have soda. Flat out, it sounded ungrateful, entitled, and spoiled. The other kids in the group were more mature and said, "Oh, well, soda at 8:30 in the morning is disgusting anyway" and "So, we got to have better games than they did." He persisted in making a stink about it. So I told him that complaining about parties meant that he didn't want to have any more parties, and maybe he could go somewhere else and do some worksheets the next time we had a reading group party. That got him!

Kids need our help to learn how to be gracious and make compromises. I feel like many of them are developmentally still toddlers when they get to school, and have the tit-for-tat mentality firmly in place.

I always tackle it head on. I tell them that fair is getting what they NEED, not necessarily what they WANT.

After a while I start to feel like the Rolling Stones:
You can't always get what you want...
You can't always get what you want...
You can't always get what you want...
But if you try sometimes
You might find
YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!

 

[lisia]

to dramacentral

I agree with you completely! I also hate to give kids soda. I was teaming with two other teachers earlier this year and one of the teachers would give the kids soda as a reward. She had my kids at the end of the day and I would see them running around the playground with soda. When I went self contained, my kids were furious because she sent sodas for some of my kids (I was given some additional kids, so she didn't send sodas for them). I told my kids no way. We were a new class now and it wouldn't be fair to the other kids in our class. Plus, I hate the idea of rewarding with soda!

 

[dramacentral]

Food is for nutrition!

I totally agree - food is for nutrition! Social custom dictates that we celebrate by having good food, but that doesn't mean that we need to consume to have a good time. Soda makes our hyper kids even more hyper and fills them up with empty calories.

Stand firm!