falsely accused

[Kiwi]

Have you ever falsely been accused by a parent? I won't go into detail, but basically one of my students has been going home and reporting to his parents LIES about me! (Half of them are blatantly false, and the other half have been ridiculously distorted from the truth). The parents then came in to have a conference with me, with these accusations. They were actually nice about it- but still, I can't let it go! I feel so betrayed and wronged. I was not prepared for this. I thought that they wanted to come in and talk about some of his grades which have gone down recently. I think I defended myself and set them straight the best I could, but I have been stewing over this all weekend with the things I should have and could have said. I have a TA (who is also a parent at this school) in the room at all times and she was there at the conference, too. She of course backed me up 100%. I have talked to my principal about it, and everything seems to be fine, but I just can't have peace about it for some reason.

 

[bucki]

oh yes of course

I had a student that claimed I shoved her across the room. Of course I didn't. I was called into a conference with the student (4th grade), her parents and the principal. I stood up for myself and told the truth. I didn't do it. The principal told me to appologize anyway so that the whole thing would be over. The rest the year, I had students who would go to the principal and tell her I had grabbed, scratched.... another student. I also had students who would stand up and say that the other students were making it up. Sometimes the student I was being accused of hurting would say I didn't do it. It was a nightmare year. I never had this type of thing happen before or happen again.

 

[teacher4]

Yes

I had a student lie on me about tell her if she did not pay her school fees she could not participate in class. I got chewed out by the principal. When the parents came to school the little girl admitted she lied because she wanted them to pay the money. It hasn't happened again.

 

[lynn]

Believing a child over a teacher???

I have had a student go home and tell a different story from what happened and the parents actually didn't think to ask about things. This was from a 5 year old. I'm not saying children purposely lie, but they are children. The fact a parent has accused you makes me sad, but the fact that some of you are saying the principal made you apologize even if you didn't do anything is crazy. What happen to principals backing the teachers? No wonder kids think they can do whatever they want; they are.

 

[Renea]

Never apologize!

Have you been falsely accused by a student? We were just told by our teacher’s association to never apologize to parents or students. The very act of apologizing may open you up to legal liabilities. When you apologize you are basically saying that you are “guilty� of the presumed infraction. Some wacky parents can take your apology right to court. Who knew that we would become such legal experts? Chances are slim that most of us would have to worry but it’s good to protect yourself! Teaching is never having to say you're sorry!

 

[GB]

The Twists, The Turns...

Students can go home with the craziest versions of the real story.

 

[read2me]

been there, had that happen

There was one student that had trouble in math. I let him take retakes on a couple of tests. He would fail them, so I would reteach then give it to him again. I did this twice. He doesn't have any modifications or accomdations that must be made. I put him in Math recovery at the first sign of difficulty. I had a conference with the parents, the other math teacher was there too. We talked about what we could do, etc.His problem was that he never pays attention and acts like he knows it all. We talked about his attention problem, they were aware of knowing it all (they thought it was cute). But of course his past K teacher said he was just smart and perfect.He still failed future tests, making careless mistakes. After each test, he wouldn't recheck and would tell me it was too easy.The parents went to my princpal complaining, that I am not doing everything that I could for their baby. Also that I shamed him, telling everyone what he made on all his test. I was shocked!!! I was a big lie. --But their precious baby could do no wrong. It still upsets me. When I see the parents, they look at me as if I was a dirty rotten person.They don't see how much I have tried to help him.

 

[Kiwi]

I'm glad to see

that I"m not the only one with this problem. I guess this is just one of those (unfortunate) things about teaching that we all have to deal with. Some research says that parents are the #1 reason that teachers quit- I can see how that can be true. It's such a shame that the couple of the crazy few makes you forget about all of the wonderful, supportive ones.

 

[magpie]

Been there!

Been there and it is very hard to get over. I feel like I have to really watch everything I say and do. I know parents always want to think that their kid is telling the truth but come on don't they remember when they were kids?! What's worse is not having back-up from the principal. Why is the teacher always the one that is wrong? I know it is hard to get over but the only bright spot is the year is almost over - hang in there.

 

[apple_annie]

falsely accused? oh yeah!

On my very FIRST day of teaching -- ever. I had taken over mid-year for another teacher who transferred. The kids had done a fundraiser candy sale, and my first day was the day the candy was distributed for students to take home and deliver their orders. Well one of my brand new little sweet hearts decided to eat a few pieces of candy out of several boxes while she was on the bus. She told her mom that the teacher had opened the boxes. MOm called principal and demanded to know how I expected her to sell boxes of candy that I had eaten from! My principal was just floored that mom even believed "My teacher did it!" She called the kid AND mom in for a conference and got her to fess up before I even got to school the next day and knew there was a problem. Thank goodness for supportive principals!!!

 

[TLC]

whopper tellers

I had one wet himself on the bus, other children made fun of him, and he told his parents I wouldn't let him go to the restroom before he got on the bus. The parents and child came back to school to confront that mean old teacher, and pulled her out of a staff meeting. They were all indignant and huffy; all I said was "Clay, is what you told your parents true?" He fessed up immediately that Mrs. C said he could go after he got his backpack, and then he forgot to go. Of course no one appologized.

The funny thing was that the father mows the grass at my next door neighbor's, and while I was sitting on my deck one evening at twilight, he stood in my trees and relieved himself in a rather conspicuous way!

 

[dkd1173]

Telling tales at home

I have a child this year who goes home and tells his parents all kinds of untrue stories about me, and they believe every one of them. Earlier in the year he told them that I was a racist because I didn't call on him every time his hand was raised, which they believed without question. He was out sick with a urinary tract infection this week and his latest story to mom was that I NEVER let him go to the bathroom at school, not once, all day - AND SHE BELIEVED HIM!!! She called the school ranting and raving about how dare I not let her son use the restroom all day, etc. It really makes you wonder about the intelligence level of some parents!

 

[Carolyn]

I am sure that eventually the lies will catch up with him. One day, one of his lies will really stand out. As long as your parents were nice about it, they were probably unsure that what their child said about you was true or not. Perhaps they are used to lies from him at home, as well. I don't know how long you have been teaching, but the longer you work in this business, the more you will see of the wrongdoings from both parents and kids and the less it will shock or bother you.

 

[gabanndor]

Funny one

One the first day of school, my partner and I were going over ther rules with our 6th graders. We have just discussed passing notes in class. I told them that I would read a note aloud if I caught them passing notes. My partner told a story of when she was in high school, she was caught passing a note and that her teacher made her eat it. The next morning, mom comes stomping up to us and informs me that she felt that what I did was very inappropriate. I asked what I did. Darling son had told her that I threaten to make him eat his papers if he wasn't listening. Apparently, we weren't listening at all. Maybe I should have made him eat some paper.