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financial & family situation



My mom and I used to live in my grandmother's house until her death. My grandmother has always been frail and in and out of hospitals all the time. She never took care of herself(alcholic & smoker). My mom, who is divorced spent years taking care of her. Now I know people can leave their estate to whoever they want, but what my grandmother did in her will is just spiteful. After my grandmother's death we found out that she left her entire house to my aunt who lives states away and never even visited my grandmother. Right after my grandmother's death my aunt gave us 30 days notice to get out. So now we are living in a horrible apartment in a bad area. I help my mom out with the rent. I can't believe what my aunt did after all my mom did for my grandmother. So all those years my mom devoted to taking care of my grandmother, and she gets nothing. My mother spent so much money to take care of my grandmother. My mom and aunt who spoke occasionally now have cut off all ties and hate each other. Its very sad.

Anyway, my mother has never had much money. She has a HS diploma and has worked low paying jobs all her life(waitressing, receptionist, ect.). My mom has never owned her own home because of my dad getting the house in the divorce and then moving in with my grandmother to take care of her, and I think she deserves to have a home of her own. I am in college and had saved a lot of money so I could move out on my own. I would have liked to live on my own. I have enough saved to where I could help my mom buy a house. Only thing is, I would have nothing left over and I would have to live with my mom for 3 more years until I finish college. By that time I'll be approaching my late 20's. But if I don't help my mom out she'll be living in crummy apartments forever. I really think she deserves a house, and I would like to help her out, but feel bad about still living at home. But then again I am contributing to buying the house, so its not like I'm completely dependent. My mom really thought she was getting an inheritance from my grandmother and had counted on that to get her own house. If she had gotten an inheritance she could've afforded a house without my help. But if I don't help her out, my mother will never own her own home.


Senior Member
what a shame

What a shame that families act the way yours did!!! However, your mother made a choice to live in and help your grandmother. You do not need to feel entitled to help her buy a house. If you are financially able to that would be wonderful, but you have your own life to live. Your mom should understand that she needs to help herself and let you go (so to speak). The more she relies on others, the less independent she'll be.

One word of advice, if you do decide to help your mom buy a home, make sure YOUR NAME IS ON THE TITLE!!!!!!! Otherwise, if something happens and mom needs to sell the house, whatever, the house could get sold without your knowledge and you could be out a lot of money with nothing to show for it.

I wish you luck and keep us posted on what happens. :)


helping mom

I think the situation will work out, cause if I help my mom out she's going to help me out. I have enough money saved and could afford to help her out with buying a house. I wouldn't be paying for the entire house, but a good portion of it. My mom has told me that she will put my name on the title. She also has said since the money I am putting towards the house is a lot more than college tuition is, then she will from then on pay for my tuition and books. Its a lot less and my mom could afford to pay my tuition and books, but can't afford what I am putting down for the house.

I guess the way I look at it, is that my mom took care of me for so many years that I'd like to take care of her. I'd like her to have a nice place to live. She's done so much for me and my ungrateful grandmother. She never once took care of herself. Actually if my mom hadn't taken care of my grandmother I truly believe she wouldn't be in the financial situation she is in. I'd only be living with my mom for 3 years and then I can get a teaching job and move out. She and I get along fine, so living with my mom works out okay. Its just a little embarrassing to still be living with my mother at my age(25). But since I'll be helping out financially with the house it doesn't feel as pathetic. I feel I should be on my own, but I do want to help my mom. I think families should help one another. And its not like I'll be living with her forever. Its only a few years til I finish college. Hopefully the time will go by fast.


Junior Member
its o.k.

briana, i'm 27, engaged, and still living with my parents!! i think in this day and age, with how much things cost, you are smart to stay at home and conserve money. i will be 29 when i get married, and i don't really care what others think! just be yourself, and know that god has a special place for you, b/c you are helping out your mom. good luck!



What about getting a 2 bedroom condo? It is cheaper than a house and less to take care of. Does your mom really need to worry about the lawn or shoveling snow? For now you could live together in the condo and both pay, then you could move on and she could still live there and pay the mortgage.
Just an idea