Fun Grandma

[anon01]

My 4 year old son has started calling my mother "Fun Grandma". I really don't know where it started from. He's always called her Grandma. My mother is a very active grandma. She's always taking my son somewhere, always offering to babysit, always comes to every preschool program they have, ect. So I guess my son sees her as "Fun Grandma" cause she's so involved in his life. He no longer just says Grandma. He always calls her Fun Grandma.

The problem arises with my MIL and DH's stepmom. MIL is called Nanny and DH's stepmom is called JuJu(nickname as her name is Judith). Both MIL and DH's stepmom know that my son calls my mother "fun grandma" and have gotten offended. However both of them are not active grandmas. We only see them at holidays, and they never offer to do anything with my son. Yet they get offended my son prefers my mom and that he calls her "fun grandma".

I wonder if I should correct my son and tell him to just call my mom "grandma" instead of "fun grandma" because of the other grandmother's feelings?

 

[AD]

I wouldn't worry about them. If that's what he sees her as and calls her, then I'd let him call her "fun Grandma". He must think a lot of her, so she deserves that! He's only 4 anyways, and he probably wouldn't understand if he was suddenly told to stop calling her "fun Grandma". He's not doing it to hurt the other grandmas' feelings.

They need to get over it and start taking a more active role in his life if they are that upset.

 

[javateacher]

fun grandpa

I wouldn't worry about it either! My son calls my FIL fun grandpa. I figure if anyone gets upset or jealous then they can do something about it - like getting more involved etc..

 

[linny22]

Don't correct your son. I think it is cute. Plus, since your mother is involved in his life, she deserves to be called "fun." Your MILs shouldn't be offended, they should be more active in your son's life. If anyone should be offended, it should be your son because his other grandmas are nearly ignoring him.

 

[5thGrdTeachTN]

My mother is the "fun grandma", but would be appalled if her grandchildren called her that in front of their other grandparents. It's not a matter of oneupmanship-it's a matter of respect. While she enjoys being the "fun grandma", she wants all of her grandchildren to respect their elders. Call me old school, but I tend to agree.

 

[usateach]

wake up call

This should be a wake-up call for the other grandmas. Obviously they aren't spending much time with your son.

 

[anon01]

I guess I just don't want the other grandmas getting offended, but they get offended so easily so its hard not too. Since my son is only 4 I guess I'll let him keep on calling my mom Fun Grandma.

My MIL and stepmother-in-law are not that involved and I agree it should be a wake up call for them. MIL will come over from time to time, but never really interacts with my son. She's more interested in talking with the adults. I've never seen her once get on the floor and play with my son as my mother does. SMIL doesn't come over unless FIL does, and we have even less contact with her. We only see SMIL on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Easter, and maybe one or two more times a year. Since my son only sees her 3 times a year he barely knows who she is. I even have to remind him who she is! Maybe MIL and SMIL should get involved. I've always thought it was sad cause my son has 3 grandmas, but only 1 is really involved. But my mom is so involved, she sort of makes up for the other two.

 

[n2n2n2n]

Guess I disagree with the others. I think you should correct him. I think it is important to teach kids to be aware of other people and their feelings.

"Fun grandma" can be just as hurtful as "ugly grandma", "poor grandma", "mean grandma" etc. if others are offended.

 

[chronicfun]

that's a tough one

I agree that it's an honor for your mom to be called fun grandma (my mom is the same way, my son forgets he has another grandma). But, I would talk to him about it and tell him it hurts his other grandma's feelings when they hear him say fun grandma. I also have a 4 year old and I know he would understand. Now, he may not remember, but having him be aware of his word choice is important in my opinion.
I agree that the other grandmas need to be more involved. They may not physically be able to get on the floor, but there are so many other ways for them to get involved and become a fun grandma. Good luck!