getting scared first baby is due

[jenna]

Hi all,
Our first is due april 8th and i'm getting a little nervous. I haven't thought that much about LDR before but now it scares me a little. If you have ANY comments on the questions below I'd love to hear them.

What was your labor and delivery like?

What things did you bring with you that actually helped? The lists I got for what to bring to LDR, to postpartum, and list for husbands seem long.

Any tips on breastfeeding those first few days? I've read and went to a class but it seems like a lot of info.

 

[GB]

Take it easy

It's very normal to have nervousness at this point. I sure did at the same time in my first pregnancy. Is the baby a boy or girl??

My labor was long, and the delivery wasn't fun, but it's over soon. The nurses will make you as comfortable as possible, and will tell you what you need to know every step of the way.

You need a thick robe and slippers. Bring a small bag of make-up and travel soap and shampoo and hair accessories. If they let you shower, you'll feel better to have a little mascara and your hair done. They have that hospital shampoo, but who wants to shower with antiseptic soap? Bring your checkbook and a first outfit for baby, they will want a check for the pictures if you get those. They'll have diapers and vaseline, swabs, lotion, etc. for baby, and you can take it home with you-you're paying for it!! I took the little tub home with me for all the diaper changing stuff, because it was easy to keep everything in it for the first few weeks, then I threw it away. Bring your own camera and take a ton of pictures with it. Bring lots of cash so hubby can run and get some lunch or snacks here or there. Bring a few snacks - granola bars, snack crackers-whatever for hubby too. They may have stuff for new mom between meals. Bring a change of maternity clothes and shoes for you to go home in - they'll be comfortable and you'll know they'll fit. Bring an extra bag, because you'll go home with more than you came with--gifts, hospital diapers, etc...

On breastfeeding-it depends on little bits, and you won't know til he starts. Get the lactation specialist if there's problems.

 

[Kiki]

one of my favorite topics...

My biggest question was, "Yes, but, how do you know this is it???" Everyone kept saying, "You'll know." That wasn't comforting but it was true. You'll know!!! I've delivered 2 babies, both naturally without an epidural. One labor was 17 hours. The other was just over five hours.

I found that I was much happier in labor on my feet than in a hospital bed. So, I stayed up as long as possible. You will find that some postions are better than other, use what works for you. (tell hubby to shut up and leave you alone - you don't care how they do it on the baby channel!!!! )

What to bring? I found that when it was time to labor in bed, all I wanted to do was labor. It was very serious for me. The TV was too loud, the ringing phone was EXCRUCIATING!!! I didn't want people to talk or touch me too much. Have hubby bring a book in case you are like this too!
You may want to consider soothing music or a focus object. Again, this may be too stimulating for you. You only NEED to bring things like GB mentioned that will make you feel clean.
Here's my best advice: When it comes time to deliver, focus like crazy on pushing that baby out and don't waste time making a lot of noise. No screaming or yelling. I told this to my best friend in front of the Dr. The Dr. looked at me and said (kinda nastily) "Have you ever HAD a baby?" I told her, "Yes two, no epidurals." She grinned at me and said "Honey, say what ever you want. " and to my friend, "She's right, you know!"

Best of luck with your new darling! and Congratulations!!!!!!

 

[Kiki]

OH! I forgot!!

I got so excited I forgot to talk about breastfeeding! Please be patient. My first baby had a horrible time getting started. I had nipple problems (TMI, I know) and she couldn't latch on properly. I decided that we weren't giving up, got the lactation specialist in, rented an industrial strength pump, and BINGO! we had it. Breastfeeding is a wonderful experience for you and the baby and your nurse will be perfectly happy to help you out.

 

[GB]

I forgot, too

As far as the baby: they need only a few things: to eat, to sleep, to play, to have their diaper changed, to be kept clean, and lots of love. Don't be scared of raising a baby. Be scared when they become a teenager-.

 

[SusanTeach]

tips

First of all, congratulations on the upcoming birth! How exciting! I'm very sure you're nervous - that's very typical. The best advice is to remember that everyone is different - your labor may not seem "by the books", but the labor and delivery people have seen it all! They'll know what to do and how to answer your questions. Don't be afraid to ask. My labor was very fast, and got faster with each birth, but it was still very painful. Just remind yourself that the pain is GOOD. Seriously - the pain means your body is dialating, and that's sooner the baby can come out. Use any breathing techniques you've learned. I was too scared with my first baby, but used them with my 2nd - and it was so much easier! Definitely kept me focused.

The best things to bring are chapstick,warm socks, and cameras. That's all you really need in the labor and delivery area.

I breastfed all 3 of my babies, and it wasn't too bad. I was very sore to begin with - don't "overnurse". A newborn doesn't need to nurse for 30 minutes. They'll doze a lot, and end up using you for a pacifier - that's when you'll get sore. Ask for a nurse to help you - they're wonderful. Oh - something that really helped me was to have something warm to drink while I was nursing. I had contractions (forgot what they're called) while I was nursing, and the warm drink really soothed them.

Enjoy that precious baby!!!!!!!!!!! Wonderful, wonderful memories.

 

[apple annie]

Babies

KIKI-- you sound exactly like me! Two kids - no drugs. Was I crazy or what? I was exactly like what you said. I didn't want anybody talking to me or even in the room except my husband. And I only wanted him to BE there, and not to talk at all. Poor guy, he asked me if I minded him stepping out for a cigarette, and I told him "Shut up and don't leave." And I'm ususally a very nice person. ! On TV they always show the mom screaming and cursing the husband. All I wanted to do was breathe and concentrate. The breathing exercises really helped a lot.

As far as breast feeding, with my first son, I was sort of surprised because I thought it would just come naturally - nothing to it. It took us about two days to really get the hang of it, but I was determined not to give up. Then after a few more days, he REALLY had the hang of it, and I was so sore, and it was really painful -- but only at the moment when he first latched and when he let go. The actual nursing part was never painful for me. Then after about week or so, I think, there really was nothing to it- it quit hurting. Everyone is different, but for me it was definitely worth it. For one thing it made me feel very close to my son right from the start. Another thing is I'm lazy - or at least I want to be as low maintenance as possible. I never had to worry about mixing formula, cleaning or sterilizing bottles, runnning out of milk, or packing it up when we went someplace. (Downside is you never want to be away form your baby when you can't get back within a couple of hours.) I was fortunate that I did not have to return to work after he was born, and I nursed for over a year. With my second son, I only nursed for about three months because I did go back to work, but I never had any trouble or pain the second time around. Two more benefits: #1 Breast milk is free and formula is expensive. #2 My kids almost NEVER get sick. I think that it's true about how they build up antibodies when they've been breast fed. Even when they were babies they rarely got colds and maybe a half dozen ear infections between the two of them ever.

It's easy to say in hindsight, but like that other poster said, don't be scared about having a baby. Be scared when they are teenagers. My oldest is starting driver's ed next month!

 

[apple annie]

and another thing...

Don't forget to bring makeup and a hair brush to the hospital. You WILL have your picture taken. Mine look awful!

Also your personal address book, so you can call everyone.

 

[Friend]

#3 was heavenly

I had my first two without an epidural, and my second labor was my longest. The third labor was worse in that the contractions were so intense and close together I had no rest in between and felt like I was going to die! So I got the epi but it worried me that it might cause problems... anyway it was heavenly! and unimagineable to suddenly not be in agony... I'm glad I didn't need it the other times but am glad it was available this time. It was worth the 600 extra dollars that the ins did not pay. Now I have three little blessings to raise...
I breastfed all 3, as well... I think just take your time and offer it often.
It really was the most cozy experience for me. mmm babies... I think I am craving another. Hope all goes well

 

[critter]

It's not so bad, considering the end result

CONGRATULATIONS!!

I was terrified about LDR when I was pregnant (my daughter is now 2). I was in labor for 17 hours - then ended up having a C-section anyway. The pain is there, and it's pretty bad, but it's over quickly. I'm not sure if the pain was as bad as my dry mouth! Ice didn't do the trick - I was THIRSTY!!! Kudos, by the way, to those who do it the natural way. I'm all about the drugs!!! My hubby made the mistake of resting his hand on my bedrail while I was in labor (pre-epidural). I had a bad contraction and bit his hand (I had been biting the rail, according to him - I don't really remember.)

I might have overlooked it in another post, but I don't think I saw anyone mention a pillow. I would take one from home (I took my nice, long body pillow), since the ones in the hospital are paper-thin. The pillow adds comfort after delivery, but it's WONDERFUL during contractions. It gives you something to bend over and squeeze.

Take advantage of Lactation Services if you have them in your hospital. They walk you through the actual breastfeeding and are very helpful (Classes are great, but there's no baby yet...LS can help you position your baby correctly and give helpful hints based on YOUR baby, since all of them are different!)

Good luck and enjoy! Being a mother is the most rewarding thing you will ever do

 

[Brooke S.]

breastfeeding

I don't have any children yet, but a friend had a baby a few months ago and she had problems breast feeding the first night she was home. She said it was horrible. Her breasts were like watermelons and the baby couldn't latch on. She called her sister in law and she said to use the breast pump to get everything going. Well...this worked wonderfully and then the baby was able to breastfeed just fine. If you have any problems...the pump is a great idea.

 

[calumetteach]

breastfeeding

you might feel like you're offering your baby watermelons when your milk first comes in!! That's what happened to me. My breasts were bursting and full but it subsided. Be sure to have your newborn in different positions when they breastfeed so you don't have the same friction points on your nipples. Ask the people at your lamaze class or hospital different ways to hold your baby during breastfeeding. There's a "football" hold that is funky but doing this helped me not to have sore nipples. Also make sure you're dry after or you get chapped. Breastfeeding was awesome for me, but some people aren't able to do it and that's ok too. We're all different.

I also had someone call me after I got home from the hospital. If you have any questions or concerns at all call the hospital!! They are very willing to help you or give you phone #s o organiztions that can give you advice.

I couldn't do the natural delivery and had an epideral. I felt like I missed some of the whole labor excitement, but oh well. I still have a beutiful baby!! :-)

 

[imafostermom]

Labor day...

Hi, I am a 2nd grade teacher, wife, mom of 3, AND a labor nurse. (my first job that is now my holiday/summer extra income thing) Anyway, the posts above are great.
Labor: DO NOT bring anything you do not want to loose. I would leave all jewelry at home.The pillow idea is essential, anything you can do to be comfortable will help you here...our pillows are plastic and we never have enough so bring some for hubby too. Have something to put your hair up in if it is long. In labor a nice CD is pleasant. You will wear only a gown in labor but socks are nice. Just don't labor wearing white ones. While I am at it...dont bring anything white. The hospital has everything in white and things easliy get discarded into the hospital linen. Pillowcases, white socks and baby t-shirts are the easiest to loose. If you are being induced...bring movies to watch, video games, laptops, puzzles and books, crafts, and crayons/coloring book if you have other kids because it can be a long wait. Bring phone numbers and a camera. I would be rich if I could sell disposable cameras! Bring cell phone and charger. If you need to call long distance from hospital phones, have a way to pay for it. They just connect you to a real operator. Buy a phone card if you will be doing this and save yourself some money.
Recovery: Have hygiene needs for both mom and dad (shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrushes...). Some hospitals have blow dryers and irons. Pack like you are going on a trip. Bring aspirin, dads seem to get headaches with crying babies and since he is not the patient, we can not even give him an aspirin. I personally would have died for a bottle of tums when I was in labor. The makeup idea is very true plus you will feel better when visitors come, and they will come...and come. Have those cigars ready. Bring comfortable/presentable pajamas (hubby too) for after delivery as well as extra underwear, a robe, and slippers (I can not tell you how many times I see people walking around our unit barefooted...usually dads....and I have to explain that the carpets and floors hide things... like when someones water breaks as they are walking....gross). Hospitals are often conservative and many no longer stock food to snack on and 3 meals are often not enough for new moms. Our hospital stocks very little to snack on (crackers). Have money for the cafeteria or snack machines. You can always order out too. Everything for your care will be provided for you and baby. Don't bring diapers and wipes. you are charged for these, use them. Some hospitals have pacifiers others do not. You will get formula samples if you formula feed. The companies want you to buy their products, keep that in mind. If you want to breastfeed, be persistent, especially at night when it is easy to give in to a bottle. The above posts said it all...it is natural but both you and the baby have to learn it. It takes time and patience. If you are content with you infant in hospital attire (white t-shirt and blankets) that is fine. I do suggect mittens because infants nails are long and they inevitably scratch their face prior to pictures. Many hospital t-shirts have a folable flap to cover hands but your personal outfits may not.Hospitals provide hats and often booties. Be prepared in case your baby pees or poops on outfits. They will need to be rinsed immediately and hung to dry or they will be a mess by the time you go home.
Discharge: To go home you will need a car seat. Read the directions and learn how to use it before you go to the hospital. Make sure you know how to put a baby in it and how to put it in the car. For liability reasons, we are no longer to do that for you. Many hospitals offer car seat help but you have to scedule an appointment. Have clothes that are comfortable to wear home. You never know how much weight you will loose so this is tricky. Slip on shoes are helpful. Have clothes and a blanket for the baby. Most hospitals offer pictures as well so have an outfit for that.
Enjoy the experience. Ask questions. Take classes and read books, it will really help. After you are home, reread the books, they will make more sense.
There are probably a million more things...sorry, I am in teaching mode until spring break...next week!!! YEAH!!!

 

[blcw]

Relax!

Hi!

The labor and delivery part will be over kind of quickly. I was in labor for almost 24 hours with #1 son, but most of it was easy, I stayed home and walked around as much as possible. I got to the hospital about three hours before he was born. #1 daughter came fast, I woke at 6 AM, called in sick (procrastination - and it was her due date!), she was born at noon. I had a midwife in a hospital, the best of both, and a nurse, they were fantastic.
Keep things simple at the start. There are so many baby products out now that it can be over whelming. You will need a good car seat, check out Consumer Reports and make sure it fits in your car. You should get a sturdy carrage, the bigger the wheels the better. A good quality crib is a good investment if you plan to have more than one child. A port-a-crib is a must have. Both of mine took many a nap out side in the port-a-crib while I relaxed and read in my garden. Keep the cloths simple. I know many mothers swear by onsies, I hated them because if they got wet everthing had to come off to change the baby. I loved those little nightgowns but I took the drawstings out of all of them.

As far as nursing, find a friend or older mother who nursed, and ask lots of questions at the hospital, There are no stupid questions! Set up a nursing chair at home. Stock it with burping cloths, a nice pillow for support, drinks for you (lots of water for you) and some healthy snacks, and reading material. If you are comfortable, so is the baby. I kept an infant chair by my nursing chair so I could just put the baby in it and let him/her sleep. Breast milk is free, convient, made just for your baby and helps you get back to a pre-pregnancy weight sooner. It also offers some protection against breast cancer.

One last bit of advice. My mother warned me that everyone wants to see the baby, and they expect to see a clean house. Her advice, leave your vacumn cleaner and some cleaning supplies where all guests see them. Then you have a convient excuse to get rid of the draggy ones with the labor and delivery horror stories, and the nice ones may clean for you!

Good luck

blcw

 

[jenna]

thanks

Hi everyone,

It was relaxing to read what everyone had to say. I'll definately bring pillows now (wasn't going to bring those) among other things that were mentioned. I'll try to remember that the pain is good, will be over soon etc. Perhaps the worst of it might be being swarmed at the H by my husband's family--I hope I can get some privacy! Especially since I want to ask for help from the nurses and/or lactation consultant regarding breastfeeding.

Well I think I lost the mucous plug today--it was very different from normal discharge (I apologize for the tmi), and some blood.

Was just cleaning my house but now falling asleep, so goodnight all!

 

[Kiki]

Family and other visitors

Remember, it is okay to ask them to leave. Labor is very personal and for some (ME!) very private. The more relaxed you are, the easier and faster it will go. Tell your hubby ahead of time that he may have to run people off for you and then, if you need to, give him the signal. Trust me, they will not take it personally. After you deliver, they will, of course, want to see the baby, but will understand that you need your own personal time too. I delivered in 2 different hospitals and both times the nurses let family come in for about an hour and then the nurses asked them to leave. If your nurse doesn't do this for you, whisper that you are tired and that you also have some rather personal questions to ask her. She will take care of the rest.

 

[Shari]

Like an orange being squeezed

out of a sock! That was how my mother-in-law (5 children!) described it. She said the contractions help "get the orange thru the opening, so don't fight the contractions."

That really did help me. What helped the most was that my sister-in-law read the monitor & told me when the contraction had peaked, so I knew it wouldn't get any worse than that.

Lots of great advice here from everyone. Yes, do relax, stay on your feet as much as possible.

Wise nurse told me, "Honey, it's your body, your baby. The doctor works for you. If you don't want your water broke, don't let her!"

Breastfeeding was wonderful (but it can hurt a bit at first). Have the special breastfeeding LANOLIN on hand before you start. The nurses will usually help, too.

Congratulations!