Problems Vs Potential
As a mom... reading your email just about breaks my heart.
I have been where you are and I hope what I share with you both encourages you and helps point you the right direction to re-examine the situation with some ??'s.
I am a mother of a son (whom is now 30 years old) with ADHD. The ADHD diagnosis was made in first grade. His educational experience was (sadly) a continued struggle of trying to find ways to help him succeed both academically and socially. And even though we did everything the professionals (doctors/psychologists) recommended (medication, diet modification, behavior modification, academic tutoring, bio-feedback therapy and counseling on an on-going basis), his school years were both difficult and frustrating times for him.
From MUCH personal experience... what I am CERTAIN of is that you MAY have a teacher problem! No offense... but not all teachers are equal.
If you have a teacher that is communicating to you that she is "fed up" with reversals (which is common in early child development) I have to question what the teacher is communicating to your son (??).
From 1st through 12th grades, my son had only 2 teachers that had the disposition/patience and compassion to work with a child that was challenged (academically and energy-wise). I found it very interesting that for these two teachers - my son not only cooperated, but flourished in their classroom! The RIGHT teacher makes all the difference in the world!!!
Furthermore, if a teacher relays to any child that they are "a failure" or "a problem" -- they will either do one or two things: 1. act out publicly (to save face -- which in my opinion what your son may be doing) or 2. comply (and silently suffer until they no longer believe in themselves).
My personal advise is to "have your son tested for ADHD" (as my son also struggled with sitting in class without disrupting, walking and standing in lines, keeping still, following rules, difficulty following directions, social codes and interaction/communication -- in essence he was a square peg trying to fit into a round hole... he was and is different from all the other kids. But let me stress that he is a wonderful child and that being different is OKAY!
Most ADHD kids are also a bit dyslexic. They are also just kids that learn differently... which also is okay and should be communicated as so.
Left-handedness has little to do with his behavior. I am personally left-handed and a mirror reader and mirror writer... which usually just points to great creativity and visual thinking.
Appreciate your son for the individual that he is... its okay that he's different from your other kids. Focus more on what he does well, encourage him -- learn to be his advocate (your the only one he has). He may never be an academic wiz kid... maybe he's your "creative" one -- which is great too.
But whatever you do... let him know that "you're there for him" and don't be afraid to dialog with his teacher about any concerns you have about her relationship with your son... again, remember an advocate works for the "BEST" outcome in a situation.
Deep breath, hug your boy a lot, talk to his teachers (as often and as long as needed), stay tuned in to the situation daily... encourage, encourage, encourage -- and he'll reach his potential.
Good luck.
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