How to handle a situation?

[just a teach]

I have a co-worker that is very loud and obnoxious. She complains about everyone and eveything. Co-workers are picking on her, the principal is picking on her, she has to many lesson plans to write, she stands in the hallway yellling down the hall to me, has a filthy mouth, blah, blah, blah...

This teacher and I became "friends" at the beginning of the year. We seemed to just hit it off and I was glad that I had someone to talk to (I am at a new school this year). In the beginning I did feel sorry for her because it seemed that she was being picked on.

I offered suggestions thinking that was what she wanted, but she turned a deaf ear. One day she was complaining about not having time to get things done in her classroom--I offered to stay after school and help her get caught up. She declined saying she was just tired of dealing with it. The next week she was complaining because the principal had observed her and she didn't have things ready...it wasn't her fault she didn't have time to do everything. I have to pass her classroom when I take my students outside--everytime I pass her room she is sitting down at the computer.

Today we were in a staff meeting. There was a guest speaker there and during his talk we all kept hearing this noise, but no one could figure out what it was. Eventually someone noticed that this co-worker had her cell phone out playing a game and that was where the noise was coming from!

I'm afraid that others will start to associate her behaviors with me. I don't want to just stop talking to this teacher, but don't want to be known as that type of person. Any suggestions?

 

[SC]

Association

Every school has a teacher like this (at least from my experience). You seem very sweet to offer help, but it seems like she just wants to complain without doing anything to fix her problems. I know that as a new faculty member, you want to make friends, but you should distance yourself, or you might be dragged down with her. At the same time, though, you should be professional toward her and just don't participate in her behavior (cell phone playing, etc.). Others will know that you are not doing the same things she is; you just don't want to be caught up in her negativity.

 

[CDHElmo]

CDHElmo

Do you still consider her your friend, or is she now more of a colleague? If you are just coworkers at this point, just avoid her if you can, but be polite when in her presence. If you still consider her to be your friend, I would try to talk with her about her behavior and negativity. She might be one of those people who doesn't realize the extent of her behavior or how negative she is. But don't let her bring you down. If she comes in to vent, you can always change the subject or let her know how much YOU have to get done. Remember that saying: "Misery loves company." Just don't give her any, and distance yourself to a certain degree for professional reasons.

 

[AD]

I agree with the other posters. I would be polite to her, but I'd also try to keep my distance from her.

Her behavior makes it obvious why people don't want to help her, hang around her, make her feel like she's being picked on. I just don't understand why people like her don't see what the rest of see through crystal clear glasses!!!!!

There's a teacher at my school who no one can stand! She makes inappropriate comments to people, doesn't think before she opens her mouth, has this "poor, poor me" attitude, and is really fake when it seems she's trying to be nice. She can't seem to figure out why no one likes to be around her. She is making people not want to associate with her. BTW, her behavior has been brought to her attention, so it's not like she hasn't been made aware.

I just can't believe that woman was playing a game during a meeting. That is flat out rude.

 

[Aisling]

It was like the Keystone Cops - but not funny

We have the same problem with non-stop non-academic priorities. We are a Catholic School and sometimes we get carried away with the religious events. At the end of last month they were in chruch TWICE on day and then at a long all school Mass two days later. I conduct the school choir, and no one seems to understand that learning music takes more than a day. I was given the music for the Mass two days before (when we were learning the stuff for the other services..) The singers and I had to take class time to rehearse- so that was more time lost.

However, my big gripe is the non-stop classroom interruptions. Last week I was doing a chemistry demonstration with a fifth grade class. I was creating an oxygen rich environment with yeast and hydrogen peroxide and that oxygen does not last very long at all once the reaction starts. The phone rang. I answered it. (the reaction fizzled out while I was on the phone.) I went back - did it again. Phone rang again. Student answered this time - but the office insisted they needed me (they didn't.) I answered the call. (The reaction fizzled again.) Went back - did it again. The intercom crackles and someone from another office starts talking to me. I am trying to talk to them - talk to the students and keep things going so I can do the demonstration. (the reaction fizzles again.) I do it again. A loud knock on the door and an eighth grader walks in with papers I "need to look at now." I tell him I will have to look at them later and he says "Mrs. M. needs you do sign up for this now, so she can type the schedule during her free period.) I stop, read paper, fill in requested info and (yes, you guessed it - the reaction fizzled again.) By now, I only have enough peroxide to try it once more - the kids are laughing and making comments because I lost them after the second phone call. Luckily - the thing came together and was quite spectacular. However, the period was now over, so there was no time for them to fill out response papers or to discuss observations.
I had to do it again the following day, but by then it had lost its punch because they knew how it was going to end. I used 90 minutes for a demonstration that should have taken fifteen at the most - and that had nothing to do with student misbehavior or lack of attention. I honestly don't think adminstration understands that any distraction sends you back to square one. I'm not sure they really understand that the kids are doing anything except copying the dictionary. And they wonder why the kids are performing badly.

 

[nosummersoff]

Been there

I've been and am currently in your situation. The teacher you speak of sounds a lot like the one in our hallway. She's young, in her 30s and is just very difficult to be around. She is loud, rude, self-centered and depressing. She always has a problem with someone or something and constantly gossips and complains about others. I have actually been in her presence when she's griping about someone and they come in her room/hall and she acts all sweet to them. It is disgusting. She pretends to want to help people, but really she just wants to nose in their business. I feel sorry for her cuz she doesn't have a lot of true friends, just friends she forces herself on. And I don't think they truly care for her.
When she starts in negatively, I steer it in a positive way and refuse to take part in her gossip. I am very sure that the people around you know how this person really is. I used to think I was the only one, and when it started getting really bad for me with this teacher, and I said something to someone cuz I was so upset, and they made it clear to me that I was not the only one in the school who felt that way about this teacher.

Others will not associate you with her if they are even slightly observant. Don't worry about that! Just stay positive and do what you're there to do, teach the best way you know how! And the "kill em with kindness" theory doesn't hurt either!! Good luck to you.

 

[justateach]

thanks

Thanks to everyone for being so understanding and supportive.

 

[gsensenig]

Let her dig her own grave.

The teacher you are referring to is the type of teacher that gives the rest of us a bad name. She obviously is not happy with her job. Misery loves company. I would suggest that you very gently tell her the truth. She needs to be more professional. If she doesn't like her work, for the sake of all, she should find other employment. Good luck and don't let her pull you down. Stay out of her way as much as possible.