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Is it that hard to use common sense?



I have a Kindergartener that may need to be held back next year. I had a meeting with his mother a couple of weeks ago to let her know that it was a possibility that he may not go on to first grade next year. I have noticed that since the meeting, the child will not do anything in class and has been a behavior problem. Today, he told me that it is "pointless" for him to work because he will be in Kindergarten next year. I told him that he was a good student and that we were not sure what was going to happen next year. I explained to him that if he did stay in Kindergarten, he still needed to learn all that he could to be a leader for the children next year. He seemed excited about the idea, but I still cannot get him to work. Before, he was a great student. He may have been behind, but he still tried.

I am just so mad at this mother for telling her five-year-old that he will be in Kindergarten next year. 1.) This was not a certainty and I told her that. 2.) Now, he really has no chance of moving on because he will not try. 3.) The fact that he said that it was "pointless" tells me that he has heard that from home. I let her know at our meeting that if he continued to try hard, that he may progress enough to move on. I was very positive and I reminded her that extra practice at home could always help. Now, the child acts like school is no big deal. I am just furious! Is it just me, or was her decision completely stupid?


Senior Member
Some parents.....

are totally clueless. She's taught her child if it isn't perfect quitting is the best option. Have you informed her that her kiddo no longer tries? This is a bad way to start any child's education. Talk about settting a kid up for failure. Some people just don't think things trough. Grrrr.
Be positiive for this little one and reenforce how much you appreciate his efforts. If he believes in you, he'll come around.


Senior Member
Keep encouraging him to do his best, and I would also hold a conference with his mother to explain exactly what you said in your post. She needs to know that he can still progress to first grade if he works hard, but by not working he's ensuring a second year in K.


New Member
ah, yes!

Sounds like you have the same problem I have - parents tell their children everything because they think they should know everything. Too many times I've had to deal with a situation because the parent told their child information they are just too young to handle. When will parents get off kick of being their child's friend and go back to just being their parent!? As an LD teacher, things I say at IEP meetings often are told to the child and then they come back and tell me what mom/dad said. Some comments are fine and I would tell the student myself if I had the time but other times the student does not need to know. How frustrating!