Mean kids

[C.]

Ugh! I totally lost it today. I don't do that often, like, maybe once a year. But I had had it! The kids have been bonkers the last couple of days because the sun finally came out so I was tired anyway. I've had issues all week (and year) with one kiddo being mean, but pulling the "I didn't do anything" CRAP and telling me he doesn't know why "Johnny" tackled him! Thenyesterday one of my mean girls called a couple of girls lesbians (and was surprised when a big sister threatened to beat her up). So I, again, have the be nice or you won't have any friends talk. She stayed in all recesses, yet, at the end of the day she tells someone to shutup, she doesn't have to be quiet! They are tattling like crazy! She told me to shutup! So? Ignore it! I had two boys today teasing another girl about her liking someone and going around telling everyone she kissed the kid she likes. So, I laid into them. Which I'm not proud of, and it's not fair to the nice ones, but.....Aaaah! Is it summer yet? I am currently enjoying a glass of wine before I start cleaning the house. Thanks for listening!

 

[Carolyn]

Lol

Sounds like as much fun as the rest of us are having. I think the kids have "checked out" already, and there are still six weeks to go! Hang in there, and pass the wine bottle around to the rest of us

 

[margaretk]

I hear ya!

I'll take some of that bottle over here while you're at it!!! This too shall pass.........right????

 

[trailpaint]

Tattling drives me crazy! Funny story...

I thought I would cure some of the first graders of tattling....I told them that I won't listen to it, so if they need to tattle, they have to tattle to the computer. Well, I looked up a minute later, and one of my first graders was tattling his heart out to the computer. I about fell out of my chair laughing!!! It made my day.

 

[Pandy]

Tattling

My mom is a retired teacher and told me what she used to do with tattlers. She had a tattling box (I don't know if she called it that) but told the students that if they needed to tattle, they had to write it down and put in in the box. They understood that the box would not be opened until after everyone had left at the end of the day. (I don't know if mom ever bothered to read it).

I've always told my students "Are they bleeding? Are they throwing up? Is there a broken bone? If not, I don't want to know about it." Doesn't always work. But it does set some parameters.

 

[dramacentral]

In my class I'm having a bit of the reverse - kids who are chronically annoyed or uncomfortable because a friend is being mean to them, but who would sooner die than tell the teacher. I have had several parents call to complain about the same child, who thinks he is being funny or friendly when in fact he is alienating his friends. He was obviously savvy enough to know to do these things only at specials, afterschool activities, and playdates with friends, so on some level he knows the behavior is unacceptable, but he's not been called on it by anyone and now I as the homeroom teacher am getting the complaints.

I wish that the kids would have come directly to me when his behavior first started so that I could have taken care of it at school - instead he developed a reputation that will be very hard to erase. I feel like I was denied the opportunity to teach this child some better social skills because the kids were too disdainful of the act of "tattling". One child even defended him after he pulled the child's hair in gym class! I want to teach these kids not to idolize and defend bully behavior, but to stand up to it.

 

[sovay]

Concerns Box

I have done something similar to the Tattling Box that someone mentioned earlier in this thread. Instead, I call it the Concern Box. At the beginning of the year, we have a discussion about the differences between "tattling" and "reporting." Students are told that they are free to write down their concerns and put them in the box on my desk. When a child tries to tattle to me about something, I usually ask, "Do you have a concern?" That's their cue to be sure that they have taken the time to write it down. I always read through them after the kids leave. Usually the notes are about insignificant tattles, but now and then, I find out about things that are going on that I've completely missed. After I've read the concerns, I put them in a large bag that I keep all year. Sometimes it's handy to refer to the bag. If I hear a familiar tattle, I can look to see if it's a recurring pattern. It also protects me if a parent wants to complain that their child is having a problem at school that they don't think I'm handling. My first question is always, "Did he write a concern?" Usually not.

Vikki/OH/3