Mom

[Crazy3]

Dementia is awful. Guess I am

lucky mom still remembers who I am. She is the last of her immediate family and no longer remembers many people. I had to remind her of her only brother that she,
loved like crazy. His music, his voice, his business savvy, his generosity. He died at 45 a millionaire and quit school in Grade 9. Two of his 3 kids contacted me last week. We were always a close family. This contact means the world to me. BTW, I have 19 other cousins on the side of the family. Other cousins say what is the point. Well I got one minute of lucidity from my beloved aunt far gone with dementia, It does happen. Guess I am just feeling blue.

 

[TAOEP]

That moment of lucidity is something to treasure. I'm so sorry. Dementia is horrible.

 

[kahluablast]

Dementia sucks. My mom has few moments of clarity, although she typically remembers that she has a daughter and a husband, she often does not know it is us when she sees us. The other day on the phone she told me that she had seen my mom and dad that day. When I said, "Mom, you are my mom" she laughed and said "oh I know, but I saw your real mom." I go with it, but it is hard sometimes. So sad. No one wants to live not knowing who they are, where they are, or what is going on. So many hardships. And so fluid.

Sorry that you are feeling sad. Know you are not alone. I try to take comfort in all the terrific memories I have and am thankful to have them.

 

[klarabelle]

I'm going through this with my mom and I know it is hard. Not long ago my mom asked to call grandmom. I was just about to say she was grandmom when I realized she was talking about her mom. I asked her what she wanted me to tell her and she told me just to call and talk with her. My grandmom has been dead 25 years. My heart sunk into my stomach.

I do call my mom just about everyday because she usually is involved with something that she is laser focused on. I don't want to think about when she forgets us.

I like that you still go for that moment of lucidity. You are showing your love for your mom and aunt.

 

[FionaJ]

I’m so sorry you are feeling blue. Such a horrible thief dementia is. Thanks for sharing here. I wish you peace.

 

[all41]

So sorry you are going through this with your mom. Dementia is awful.

 

[DSLBUG]

Dementia is hard.

Sending hugs and love!

 

[hand]

This is so hard. Thinking of you.

 

[dutchgirl]

I'm going through the same thing with my mom. The other day she was so worried because my dad had gone out with a friend and not returned yet. I told her they probably were talking too much to watch the time and guided her to another topic. My dad died 15 years ago. She also keeps trying to call her parents and worries when they don't answer. I don't know what number she's calling, but mom's 96. Her dad dies when I was 4, and her mom about 40 years ago. I've learned to go along with what she thinks. Telling her that her loved ones died will cause her to grieve all again.

Thankfully, she's happy most of the time.

 

[mhugs]

dementia

My sister and her husband came up to celebrate my mom's 90 birthday. This was in August.

We had bought her a couple of new outfits. She carefully folded the wrapping paper to use again. She said, "This has been a nice Christmas!". Those were the last words I heard mom speak. She passed away that year in December. She's been gone 15 years now but I still remember her saying those words. In her muddled stat she related gifts to Christmas.

 

[wildflowerz]

It is very difficult, especially when family isn’t supportive.

My mom lives with my sister. I came to watch her for two weeks so my sister could go away. I’m leaving two days before my sister gets home.

I asked another sister to take my mom for the last two days or three days. She said, “Three is too many for me, I can only take her for two.”

Um, I’m coming here for two weeks, and had her for three months over the summer/fall. Our caregiver sister has her 24/7. And THREE days is too much for you??????

Currently, my mom asks, “Are you my mother?” We explain that we are daughters and she is the mother. She tells us that she would rather have a mother so she would have someone to take care of her. I think it is interesting that she knows she needs help but has no idea that we are helping her.

 

[Crazy3]

Thank You

I just want to thank you all your support and letting me know I am not alone in this journey Demetria seems to be so prevalent now. Just not how I expected things to go.