Not getting along with other teachers

[Ihatedrama]

This has been driving me crazy for the past couple of months! This has been my first year in a new school (I spent 3 other years in another school before coming to this school). I am so tired of all the jealousy, drama, and nonsense that go along with teaching. So many teachers are up in everyone else’s business and talk about other people all of the time. Also, if a new teacher builds a reputation quickly as a great teacher some teachers only try to tear them down. There are some nice teachers here, but very few lol.

I love my kids (which is the only reason I am staying at this school). I am just so tired of the drama. It’s a no win situation! I try to talk and be friendly to everyone but people try to pull you into drama packed situations or they end up talking behind your back. I try to stay to myself and the staff says I am not supportive of the school. People run to the administration and complain that I am not trying to be a part of the “family within the school”. It’s always something! I can’t win!

Everyone always has something slick or sarcastic comment to make. My problem is I am not a person that can’t keep their mouth shut lol. I have always been a confrontational person. If someone says or does something uncalled for to me, they will hear about it. I feel like people are constantly trying to push me or test my limits.

What is going on at this school?!?!?!? Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I mean it’s literally nonstop here. I decided I am just going to stay on my own and not worry about anyone else. It’s a shame, because I really wanted to form a professional relationship with my coworkers. But, I guess sometimes you can’t do anything about it. Do you think I am handling this the right way?

 

[TeacherTim]

Happens everywhere! Try being the "Disneyland Teacher" and having older, more experienced teachers run you down to admin saying you are just a "Disneyland Teacher" and having too much fun. When that didn't work (my admin loved me!) she then went to tell parents about poor "Johnny" stuck in my class where there's "no structure". Hmmm, poor little "Johnny" did MUCH better in my class than he did in her's the year before and I have a reputation for being very organized and clear on my expectations. And if that wasn't enough, how about meetings in the staff room being asked, "Who was calling out without raising their hand this morning?" Are you kidding? Do you really have that much time to stand at a closed door (our rooms had an adjoining door) listening to what is happening in my room ~ and how do you know they didn't raise a hand???

Yes, it happens everywhere and teachers are petty dispicable people that have to tear everyone else down ~ I guess I fit right in

 

[subczy]

oh boy...

There is nothing wrong w/ being professional. That includes keeping yourself out of the "mess" of all of it. As for anyone asking me (or apparently you too) to be part of their family - I'd respond with - no thanks I already have one at HOME.

(P.S. No body treats you like family and this just goes to prove it (their immature behavior) - so keep on being professional and don't worry about them.)

Do not take on their issues as your own. I know it can be hard b/c it will seem to them that you think you are better than them. Which you aren't, but you ARE more mature. If a principal or anyone confronts you about your lack of "participation" just explain that you prefer to concentrate on your job while at work, etc.
Good luck!

 

[Lottalove]

Just remember this--

there are a LOT of DYSFUNCTIONAL families out there...mine included.

While working together is the ideal, it is next to impossible to get along with everyone all the time.

I started to say that any time you have more than one person there will be conflict, but then I remembered how many times I've been conflicted within myself.

Ignore them, do whatever you need to do to preserve your sanity. I try to go to the Teacher workroom on special occasions or for just a few minutes at the end of my break. Otherwise, I eat in my room. I try to listen to just enough gossip and hearsay to keep me in the loop but not so much as to be swayed by it (and I don't believe any of it wholeheartedly)...

Hang in there.

 

[fleetwoodfan]

your not alone

I just made a transfer in schools this year too. While this school has much better moral, I have experienced other teachers talking bad about our colleagues. I only share my feelings with people I trust and am close to, but even that makes me feel guilty. Gossip is a part of being human and comparing yourself to others, but the extent and amount of it can really affect a professional environment. I try to keep it to a minimum. I'm just trying to kill my colleagues with kindness and go about my own business and it makes my working day much less dramatic. It's already bad enough dealing with the middle schoolers' drama! Hang in there... it sounds like you are responding how I would.

 

[teachterrific]

Yes, this goes on at my school, too! There is a teacher on my team who hates me because I am close to her same age and did really well in the school I came from. She thinks she is the only one in the world who knows anything about teaching and is very arrogant. Now I am the new girl on campus and this girl has harassed me all year! The Principal is very close to some teachers and if those teachers don't like you, no matter how great you are, they will run and tell the Principal you are not doing a good job or that you are not working as a team! Last year the girl whose position I filled left for the same reason I am leaving. I am sick of all the gossip, Principal playing favorites to the point where if her favorites want you to lose your job she will agree with them, and all the crud the district has unloaded on everyone, especially newbies, this year. I think a lot of people are leaving teaching altogether for this reason. Unethical and unprofessional behavior like this is not tolerated in most other professions or at least not for long...and I worked in another field before teaching, so I know it is not like this in at least the field I came from!

 

[lalasci]

I was very surprised to learn

that teaching does not attract only kind and decent people. It is a microcosm of the real world and full of people with all sorts of issues- especially jealousy.

I have noticed that jealousy seems to be a pretty powerful motivator of negative behavior. Some teachers feel threatened by others' successes when they should feel buoyed up by it. It makes the school, faculty, and students stronger to have many excellent teachers.

In your situation, I would definitely try to avoid the confrontations. Your coworkers seem to be playing on this aspect of your personality to get under your skin.

Is there anyone you feel close to who you can confide in and blow off steam? If not, you can always come here.

 

[cvt]

my school

My school seems to be the exception. It is very small (only 40 teachers & support staff combined), and we all are one big happy family. Many teachers are also friends that socialize with each other outside of school. It depends a lot on the administration. A principal can be someone who unites the staff or can be completely toxic. Subs that come to our school often comment on how friendly and kind everyone is to each other and to the subs.
It was not always so at my school. We had a principal who believed in the strategy of divide and conquer. It was a horrible period, and many people left. Things got very very ugly to the point we had to have outside professional arbitrators coming in. Once that principal left, things changed for the better.
My advice to you is to keep doing your job and look for transfer the first opportunity you have.

 

[AD]

I notice it A LOT at my school too. I'm new to this school, and it was nothing like this at my old school (which I loved and miss). I'm sure there was gossip at my other school, but I hardly ever heard any, and I wasn't one to keep to myself.

I am amazed at the immaturity of some of the teachers I work with. My school is mostly made up of veteran teachers who aren't afraid to say what they think and/or feel no matter who it may affect or how it comes across. It's like they feel this permission or they've done their time, so now they can be catty, sarcastic, and rude.

I had an issue with one of those teachers last week, and it has really bothered me. I've taken the high road and I just stay away from people like that. I get there on time, do my job, and leave at the end of the day. I focus on my classroom and my students. I'm less likely to leave my classroom and be out socializing (when I don't have my students in the classroom!).

I can't believe that people who act like that are teaching children to make good decisions and get along with others! I think some teachers are the WORST examples!

 

[kahluablast]

I remember how shocked I was 15 years ago doing my student teaching listening to the teachers talking in the lounge! The school I was at had a great group of teachers, but boy, did the things they said to/about others sting! I never wanted to leave the lounge so no one could talk behind my back!

Now, I love the school I work at. I love the teachers. But I know how to play the game and keep myself separate. Phew- glad sometimes that I do have that family at home that always loves me!

But, it can be like that anywhere you work. Just goes to show that teachers ARE human!

 

[rhubarb]

Hi

Let me try this one for you. Forgive me, it is late and I have not read what I am sure wonderful posts above me. Yes, I have worked at a school like that, my first school. I am on the introverted quieter side and this school was a den of gossip. It was so bad that the principal (a wonderful man) scolded at staff meetings. To no avail and it continued. I guess I flew under the radar being quiet, or I just did not listen.

I have been at my "now" school for the past 3 years. I am just now coming out of my shell and showing the more extroverted side of me. I sit back and watch at first and eventually you see the patterns, who you can trust, etc. I am the type that people love to come to and gabble (as I call it) as they know I will not talk. People try to dig stuff out of me and I just play dumb. Do I gossip? Sure...but I look closely at a staff and decide who I feel I can trust. I really try hard not to complain but we all have those days. My closest friends on any staff have always been assistants and librarians. Not sure why that is me. Some of the stuff folks trust me with blows me away. I hold myself to a high standard in that sense. Now, the moaners and groaners and the truly malicious know better than to come to me. I am quiet but make no bones if I am uncomfortable.

You are extroverted and new on staff? Hmmm...you nailed it in your second paragraph. Be there for those kiddies and let your work shine. If it is too much to bear....change schools. Eventually what goes around (so to speak) comes around to bite the yappers in the behind. This I know for a fact. I left my old school after 2 years...my wonderful P retired that year and I hear that the whirling dervish from hades took over and has mopped up the slop, so to speak.

Observe...find a friend...see what happens. I know this is like working in a pit of snakes. You sound marvelous.

 

[shy1]

sounds like my school....especially during my first year there!

 

[TeacherBB]

Sad But true...it happens everywhere...at my school too.

Gossip will always be here and I think a pp nailed it when they said jealousy is the motivating factor.

My class and I made the newspaper for a big activity we did. I also got a Best Practice Award for it as well. This was not why I did the activity. I did it because I thought the kids would have a fun and meaningful experience while learning about history. Only one person congratulated me on our whole staff for the award. But a friend told me that others were gossiping about it saying I did it for the attention. They also said the experience was a waste of time and "when on Earth did I have time for this?" I must be lacking in other areas if I spent the time on this. Little did they know that I spent after school and weekends preparing for this activity.

I am hurt by my colleagues gossiping. I am really not out to win Teacher of the Year (but that would be cool!) and get all sorts of recognition. That is not who I am, but people sure didn't hesitate to throw me under the bus instead of being positive.

 

[CP]

Ours too...now!

Our school USED to be nice and all got along....then 15 people retired and all these youngin's came in. (not that much younger than myself). Well...the whole environment has changed. For young new teachers the negativity about children is unbelievable! They talk about each other behind backs...I know they talk about me...I caught one of them! I just chalk it up to immaturity and they'll get it back someday.

The worst is when they think they are great...and like to tell the rest of us "how it's done", when they can't get the job done themselves.

I have a co-worker, that everytime I look across the hall, she's sitting behind her desk and doing something on the computer! Now, how and what is she teaching? I see this often b/c I continually circulate around my room, and when I do a drive-by of the door, I look........behind the desk 99% of the time! Ugh! And she has the b*lls to tell me how to teach!!! PaLease!!!!!

 

[Renea]

You know who sets the tone.

The principal sets the tone in schools. For years I had principals that firmly discouraged gossiping and "telling on each other". There was very little of that nonsense at our school. A new administrator arrived and actively encouraged tattling and gossiping. She actually asked us to report to her when we saw rule breakers. The staff fled in droves and now is filled with young teachers. The gossip and backstabbing fills conversations. If you don't go to the off campus get-togethers you can be sure you are the target of their ridicule. What's most remarkable is that when you see these ladies they smile and greet you as if you are their long lost friend. One of these days I'm afraid I'll let them know that I have no time for backstabbers and they can take their knife out of my back and move on.

 

[Sad in Second]

I can so relate

I can so relate to your post. This is exactly like my school. I teach second grade, we have seven sections. All of the teachers have transferred or quit except me and they have replaced them with a group of young "friends"! Yes you got that correct, they all knew each other prior to being hired. I am totally miserable with this group everyday. I hate going to work now and I have always loved my job. They are so immature, and clicky. They talk about kids all the time and they want to spend more time socializing in the hallway than teaching in their classrooms. They will do anything to keep from teaching and their favorite go to is throw in a movie! I've requested to be transferred and the principal will not let me. I may have to leave the profession after 18 years, but I just don't know what I would do if I weren't teaching. Never been this unhappy.