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Parent in denial



Yesterday I issued a behavior warning on a child. Today I got a nasty note from the mother saying that my version of what happened wasn't true - her child doesn't lie - she knows him. I called her this afternoon and she actually had the kid stand next to the phone so that he could dispute what I said happened. Why do parents think that we make up stuff about their kids?


Senior Member
you can expect this again

What I would do next time: have the kid write a long explanation of what really happened and what he expected to gain by doing what he did. When he hands it to you, question him on the points you see him fudging, verbally talk with him until he says it the way it really happened. Have him re-write it. How can the parent dispute what the child has written in his own handwriting? I used this last year and it worked, the parent was behind me.

Ima Teacher

Senior Member
It's always OUR fault!

I'm amazed at how many parents think their children do no wrong. Yesterday I met with a parent, and the first thing he told us was that his child does NOT act like that at home. Of course, then he goes on to tell us how he grounds him and uses a belt on him when he acts up. So, apparently he's doing SOMETHING now, isn't he? Plus, we know someone in his family who won't let the child come to their house because of how he acts.

We told him that his child is very bright, not disrespectful/mean, but has major issues with impulse control. Dad says he's lazy.

We tell him that we need his help in solving the problem, and he tells us that we need discipline in our school.

Sigh . . .


Senior Member

This happens each year in my classroom a student will go home and give a different version. When a parent sends me note I set up a conference. In the conference I csll the child in and let them retell the event. Everytime they tell the truth and the parent is embrassed.


Senior Member
Liar's club

You get some like that. Often the take full advantage of their parent's images of them. They know they run the house. They sic mommy or daddy on you for not placating them. Hope you can let the cild know you know. Be sure you document everything and get the principal involved when the parents get insulting. You are a professional not their child's friend or hired nanny. If they want to believe their kids are perfect they will see their folly when their child tries to make it in the world.

Showme teach

happened Monday

We had a student run into the middle of a busy intersection to get a ball. The rule is not to go past the building-let the ball go. Her mother was here on Thursday to watch us supervise recess and question me about whether the child had permission. I told her no not to run into the street and get hurt. Always a problem with this mother. We lie, not her baby. Now she has made friends with the boy liar in the group. What a combo!!


New Member
They can't deny

Whenever I have a situation where I think the parent will deny what has happened. (And sometimes when the student has done something so often and I am tired of writing notes.) I call the parent during the school day and then have the student explain to the parent what went on. The student can not change the story because I am right there. The parent can not deny what happened because their child is explaining it. Works every time.