Q
question
Guest
If you don't mind offering, how many of you have pre-nups with your spouse? do you find it offending when someone asks for one?
-
Welcome teachers! Log in or Register Now for a free ProTeacher account!
TeachtoScrap
Senior Member
Prenups
hee hee... not us... but we didn't exactly "own" a lot when we met at the altar.
I don't know... if I worked super hard for everything I had I might want to try and protect it. One NEVER knows what can happen. I didn't enter marriage thinking I would get a divorce, but neither do a lot of people and it still happens.
Case in point: a friend of ours wife had surgery, started taking pain pills, became addicted, then turned to METH. He is now divorcing her, thankful no kids were involved.
JMO, but have never been in this situation. Hope it all works out for you...
hee hee... not us... but we didn't exactly "own" a lot when we met at the altar.
I don't know... if I worked super hard for everything I had I might want to try and protect it. One NEVER knows what can happen. I didn't enter marriage thinking I would get a divorce, but neither do a lot of people and it still happens.
Case in point: a friend of ours wife had surgery, started taking pain pills, became addicted, then turned to METH. He is now divorcing her, thankful no kids were involved.
JMO, but have never been in this situation. Hope it all works out for you...
Hifiman
Senior Member
Don't have one, but...
In my old age I strongly support them. It might seem silly for most people just starting out because few people have significant assets, but you never know what will happen financially over time. One person stated that it's like saying "I don't want to help you in any way." That's not the intent of a pre nup. Pre nups are just one way of keeping everyone honest. It doesn't mean there is no distribution of money, but rather an agreed upon percentage as well as other stipulations for both spouses.
Take the now infamous Heather Mills-McCartney. She gives marriage a bad name. Granted, Paul was dumb for not having a pre nup, but still. The problem is there are just too many Heather Mills out there in marriages of every income level. It's gotten out of hand. The courts don't seem to want or be able to reign this in so it's up to those with the good sense to get a pre nup.
In my old age I strongly support them. It might seem silly for most people just starting out because few people have significant assets, but you never know what will happen financially over time. One person stated that it's like saying "I don't want to help you in any way." That's not the intent of a pre nup. Pre nups are just one way of keeping everyone honest. It doesn't mean there is no distribution of money, but rather an agreed upon percentage as well as other stipulations for both spouses.
Take the now infamous Heather Mills-McCartney. She gives marriage a bad name. Granted, Paul was dumb for not having a pre nup, but still. The problem is there are just too many Heather Mills out there in marriages of every income level. It's gotten out of hand. The courts don't seem to want or be able to reign this in so it's up to those with the good sense to get a pre nup.
SusanTeach
Senior Member
pre-nups
We didn't have one (not enough money involved!), and I've definitely changed my thinking with age (as others said).
I used to think it would offend me, but I honestly don't believe it would now. No, I don't go into marriage worrying about a divorce, but I would hope nobody does! I wouldn't blame him for wanting me to sign one. However, I would also make sure IF we were to get a divorce, that anything accumulated after our marriage would be divided fairly. In other words, all of our assets before we got married would still belong to whomever they did before the wedding. Anything after that would be split.
We didn't have one (not enough money involved!), and I've definitely changed my thinking with age (as others said).
I used to think it would offend me, but I honestly don't believe it would now. No, I don't go into marriage worrying about a divorce, but I would hope nobody does! I wouldn't blame him for wanting me to sign one. However, I would also make sure IF we were to get a divorce, that anything accumulated after our marriage would be divided fairly. In other words, all of our assets before we got married would still belong to whomever they did before the wedding. Anything after that would be split.
M
my experience
Guest
If both of you are just out of college and there are no children froom previous relationships and are starting off equally, as the case in my first marriage, than you will be fine without a prenup.
However, if you have significant assets aquired before marriage or children from a previous relationship, than you need a prenup. When my second husband asked me to marry him I insisted on a prenup. He is a wonderful guy but has a daughter that married a nutcase. I needed to be sure that the assets my children's father left to me when he died go to them and not my current spouse or his children.
If when you decide to get married and the word prenup comes to mind you need one.
However, if you have significant assets aquired before marriage or children from a previous relationship, than you need a prenup. When my second husband asked me to marry him I insisted on a prenup. He is a wonderful guy but has a daughter that married a nutcase. I needed to be sure that the assets my children's father left to me when he died go to them and not my current spouse or his children.
If when you decide to get married and the word prenup comes to mind you need one.
ttbw
Senior Member
I don't have one
but now that I watch my neighbors go through a divorce i think they are a good idea. My neighbors are in their 50's, they got married about 4 years ago. He is the only one that works anymore, he pays for everything including the house that he bought before he married her. She had a house and sold it, got a lot of money from it because it was paid in full. She also, got her ex husband's entire retirement. Now, unfortunately, he sees her true colors and has filed for divorce. She refuses to get a job, like the courts said to, and has had him removed from his own house. While he is fighting to get his house back, along with many other things, she is robbing him blind. Every night we see her loading up her vehicle with things. she has given his clothes away, ruined his business files that were in his office in the house, taken his motorcycle trailor, drilled holes in the doors in the house, left windows opened while it rains, just to name a few of the crazy things she has done. The long and short of it is, you can never predict the future. Good luck with your decision
but now that I watch my neighbors go through a divorce i think they are a good idea. My neighbors are in their 50's, they got married about 4 years ago. He is the only one that works anymore, he pays for everything including the house that he bought before he married her. She had a house and sold it, got a lot of money from it because it was paid in full. She also, got her ex husband's entire retirement. Now, unfortunately, he sees her true colors and has filed for divorce. She refuses to get a job, like the courts said to, and has had him removed from his own house. While he is fighting to get his house back, along with many other things, she is robbing him blind. Every night we see her loading up her vehicle with things. she has given his clothes away, ruined his business files that were in his office in the house, taken his motorcycle trailor, drilled holes in the doors in the house, left windows opened while it rains, just to name a few of the crazy things she has done. The long and short of it is, you can never predict the future. Good luck with your decision