single no prospects

[1/4lifecrisis]

hey proteacher friends,

I was wondering if anyone has any encouraging words for me. I'm turning 25 and i'm feeling kind of uneasy about being single still. I dont even HAVE ANY prospects! I find it hard to meet guys. I'm not a partier so i dont go to bars and I frankly wouldn't want to meet a guy there. Alot, practically all of my friends are either dating someone, engaged or married. What's wrong with me????? It's just kind of depressing I feel like I should be moving into that next part of my life..yet no one to go there with...any encouraging words as to how i'm feeling/ how to meet a nice guy?

 

[vateacher]

Take a fun class that will have guys. Volunteer. Go to the gym. Join a church group. Ask around... some of your friends' boyfriends/husbands etc must have single friends! Try online dating. Go to cultural events and feel secure going alone. It sends a confidence vibe that will make you approachable. If nothing else, it will keep you busy enough not to worry about the single status you find yourself in. Just enjoy life and take opportunities to go out and meet people. Good luck!

 

[Carolyn]

meeting guys

If I were you, I'd sign up for a college class, preferably a graduate level class where you'll meet people your own age. Make sure it's not a class where women will predominate (such as elementary education). While enrolled, strike up friendly conversations with the guys. By taking classes at a college, you'll at least meet people like you who have a good education and prospects for a good job.

I agree about the bar part. I, personally, wouldn't want to meet a guy there. I think you'd meet all kinds there, and many you probably wouldn't want to become friendly with.

If you are attending a church, make sure you attend the socials. I've known some people who have "connected" there.

You could try one of those online singles places. I know a fellow teacher who met her 'Mr. Right" there.

Good luck. I'm sure that with patience you'll find the man who is just right for you.

 

[jen517]

I'm right there with you! My life does not lend itself to meeting new guys, and all the people I hang out with are dating others seriously. The problem is that their friends are not anything too interesting (and they are the first to say it!) If you find anything that works, let me know!

 

[chteacher]

sign in with us first

so we know you're not a lonely 14 year old.

1.. please don't think that only losers go into bars
2. don't compare yourself with others
3. sign up with E-harmony (if you are old enough)
4. breathe, and stop worrying

 

[GreatGrin]

only 25!

You are only 25...I am almost 36 and in the same boat! My sister who is ten years younger then me, is getting engaged anyday...OUCH! I am happy for her, but I have to admit, it stings!

I took Masters classes for 5 years...they guys were either engaged,married or gay!

I work 2 jobs so I dont get out much on weekends. And the more time that goes by the harder it is to put myself out there. About the best I can do right now is go to the bookstore every once in a while...I have been on eHarmony for 3 years off and on...decent guys (more so then Match or Yahoo). but I am picky and if I do find someone interesting the feelings aren't mutual for whatever reasons.

I was just telling a teacher friend who got me hooked on ProTeacher, that it would be great if they had a dating section!!

Good luck to you! You aren't alone! I do look at it this way...I would rather be alone and happy then married and miserable with the wrong person.

 

[1steduc8or]

Maybe she doesn't want to drink for

religious reasons? If it is about religion she would not want to meet a guy there. I AM NOT saying you cannot be religious and drink...I AM saying some religions do not condone it. Does that make sense?

 

[Great Grin]

I feel like that also. I am glad that I am not married and miserable. I do have a friend that seems like that. I think it's hard to meet people also, I am getting a second job, have no money to do things that cost money, time and money are issues.

Good luck to you too!

 

[lovetotravel]

Hang in there!

42 and still single here. I never thought I'd still be single at this age, but looking back, I'm glad I haven't gotten married so far. I've grown and learned so much about myself. I'm comfortable in my own skin and have learned that a significant other is not a necessity. Sure, it'll be great when/if Mr. Right comes along. But until then, enjoy life. Read a good book. Go for a drive. Enjoy your friends. That dating section on ProTeacher isn't such a bad idea!

Good luck to all us singles. Like I once told a student who asked me why I wasn't married...."I just haven't met the man who deserves me yet." lol

 

[chronicfun]

I know you may not want to hear it, but

You are so young! When I was 25, single and desperate, I settled for a man I should not have. We married at 28 even though deep down I knew we shouldn't have. We divorced at 38. I am now 40. I joined eharmony and am currently dating a really wonderful guy. He's just what I've been looking for. If it works, it works, if not, that's ok too.
I just posted a few weeks ago about breaking up w/ my boyfriend, and here I am happy with a new fellow. Now, I know in my heart I do NOT need a man to complete me. I do that by myself, but I do WANT a man to share lifes ups and downs. Don't pressure yourself. Like pp said, get out there. I would really recommend eharmony. They have compatibility tests and I was shocked how quickly I got responses. I consider myself"un-datable" since I am 40 and have a 4 year old, but I've had many, many possibilities. I really like the one I found. He's genuine, kind, and is taking things as they come. I would not recommend Match.com or perfectmatch.

Sorry for rambling...I just remembered myself at 25 and don't want you to make the same mistake I did.

Good Luck. Be happy with who you are and men will be attracted to that!

 

[kidsrme11]

I agree

When I was 25 it was all just beginning for me. I didn't date much before that, but then I made up for lost time. I agree with the PP. Have fun. Try anything you are comfortable with. Just be you. But you do need to put yourself out there. Nothing is guaranteed to be 100% perfect. I've met great people at bars and some real stinkers at church. Don't give up. You never know when you'll meet him, so in the mean time pray that his heart is safe and that he is ready for you when you meet him. AND, make yourself happy. There is nothing more attractive than a happy, confidant person.

 

[MrChapp]

I was ALMOST 25 before I had my first really serious relationship. I married my second really serious boyfriend at 29. So don't worry! I had friends who got engaged/married because they felt like they had to, either because of their age or the length of their relationships. Those engagements/relationships all ended pretty badly.

I agree with the previous poster who said nothing is 100% guaranteed as the right place to meet people. Losers don't wear a big sign that says "I will suck in a relationship". The worst relationship I was ever in was with someone I'd been friends with for three years before we started dating. You've got to go out on a few "getting to know you" dates with people that you meet anywhere, anyhow. That's the only way you'll find someone.

Good luck!

 

[Hifiman]

Go to the gym

and wear a "nice" workout outfit. It always seems to attract guys like flies to honey. Not me of course. I'm usually huffing and puffing too hard on the treadmill to think of anything else. Well, unless Salma Hayek's on tv.

 

[musicbug]

Hang in there

I could haven written your post when I was 25. I know how much the loneliness hurts. What I did was dive into a new hobby. (I started historical reenacting) Imagine my shock when I found out I was outnubered by men 3 to 1. Because I love history and it wasn't a ploy to get guys, I made alot of great friends and I eventually (at 27) I met the right guy. There is nothing wrong with you 1/4 life, that doing what you love and believing in yourself won't cure. I'm rooting for you.

 

[alsosingle]

I feel the same way you do. I'm almost 27 without any prospects and that's so depressing. my mother was married at 26 and had me at 27, so I feel I should be doing the same.

I have joined a church group, and there are a lot of guys there. Although I am friends with some of the guys, I just don't feel a connection with or attraction to the ones I know. Maybe you could get involved in other aspects of the church, not just the singles. Thats what I'm planning to do since I haven't met any guys in the singles group that I like. There's mission work, youth counselor, and other stuff in the church that you could get involved in that you could meet friends and maybe even some guys as well.

Whats been hard for me is seeing a large majority of the single girls at my church who I've known for years getting engaged and married. I feel they are moving on with their lives and I'm still stuck single. I'm so scared of turning 30 and still being single. I want to at least be in a serious relationship by 30.

 

[1/4life]

alsosingle

I agree. It's hard watching my friends getting married adn engaged or at least be in a serious relationship, especially when they are younger than you. I woudl like to be in some sort of relationship by the time i'm 30. I would like to get involved in church groups, that's a good idea. I've not met anyone at the gym..somehow there aren't young people at the gym i go to. I go to a YMCA. I dont' know. Anyways..i'll keep living life and hopefully i'll stumble upon mr. right. Good luck!