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Rachel L

I'm curious, are stepsiblings like real brothers or sisters? I have a stepsister, and while I care for her I'll always consider her my STEPsister. She and I did not grow up in the same home. I only visited my dad weekends and holidays. Its strange cause I am so close to my dad and I did not live with him as a child, and I've grown closer towards my stepmother and even consider her "mom" like despite all the problems we've had in the past. With my stepsister however we've gotten closer with her opening up to me more. But still I don't think of her as a sibling. I think of her as part of my family. But she's more like a cousin to me than a sibling. Thats not a bad thing cause I have cousins that I'm real close to. But I do think my dad is what holds my stepsister and I together. If he were to pass on, I doubt my stepsister and I would have much of a relationship. He and my stepmother are the ones that encourage her to be more social and engage in conversations with other family and myself. I think it might also have to do with our personalities. I'm a very social outgoing person. My stepsister suffers from depression and just being around family other than my dad and stepmother makes her nervous. As a teen she barely spoke to me when I would visit my dad. I think that might be cause of her depression cause she avoids other family as well, not just me. Her medication helps and since she's been on it she's been more talkative with me. But because my stepsister and I never established any kind of bond when we were younger, I think I'll always think of her as my STEPsister, and not like a real sister. Its too bad cause both of us don't have biological siblings. But considering the circumstances, realistically I think seeing her like a cousin is the best I could hope for. And at least we get along.


Senior Member
I'm sure it's different for everyone, depending on the people and circumstances involved. I do not have any steps, but my husband does. They were raised in the same home from the time my husband was about 12 until he was about 18, and the steps are younger. If it weren't for holidays, they'd never talk or see each other.


Senior Member
My parents divorced when I was 11. Dad remarried when I was 13. I got two stepsisters (both a little younger). I really liked them when we were kids and still like them today. However, we are not very close at all. I think sometimes they could do a little more to include me, but I have become accustomed to the family dynamic so c'est la vie. At my dad's it's a second home for them because their mom is there, but I always feel like a guest.

My mom remarried much later but dated my stepdad all through my teen years. He has a son 7 years younger than me. I was like a big sister to him in those days, but once I went to college, we grew apart. We have very little in common. He is kind of a mess personally with divorce, out-of-wedlock (but during a marriage to another woman) kids, drugs, alcohol, career instability. I still like/love this guy, but don't see a lot of him. We live in different towns.

My stepdad also has two older sons. They didn't want to be friends in our teen years, and we still aren't really close and barely know eachother. One lives in my same town, but has never reached back when I have reached out to them in the spirit of family or friendship. This son can be cordial, but he and his wife keep their distance.

The other son lives out of state and I'm not close to him either. When we all are together we get along, but have little to talk about. When my stepdad dies, I'll probably see these people for the last time at the funeral.

I'll probably still be somewhat closer to the stepsisters for the rest of our lives, especially the younger one, but when one or both of our parents passes, I probably won't see these ladies very much at all since they live in another town.