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Sticky situation



My daughter is in a collegues class. The teacher basically ignores her as her aide has quit and now my daughter shares aide with another child. Today my child entered my room five times and no one came looking for her. I have spoken to the teacher about my child is here to learn ask for help from admin if needed yada yada. I don't want to tell her how to teach but I am really tired of her letting my child do what she pleases and then get stuck with hours of work that should have been done at school. She is afraid my daughter will have an outburst and she doesn't like confrontation(her words). My daughter has autism and is high functioning. My class is acting up and now I have to bulldog her about my child too? I have tried talking with her giving ideas etc. I am so frustrated. Any advice?


Senior Member
i think

it is important to make sure your child is getting all that she needs to succeed in school. However I also think that it is not your place to tell a teacher how to do their job. You would not want that to happen to you. Having an autistic child in your classroom is a wonderful expierence and a learning journey. Students like that make you better at what you do! With that, it takes a lot of practice and demands a teacher to take on much more energy while learning. I remember the hours spent researching and interviewing teachers to prepare for my first autistic student. I think you will have to learn to have patience and understanding to learn what you do so naturally and effortlessly for your daughter. use that gift you have to share with the teacher in a non threatening way. I think this calls for ateam approach.do you have a SAT (student assessment team) othe like? I think that if you and the teacher and the special ed teacher and other people involved at school (our principal and guid. counslr often join ours) sat down as a team and made some team suggestions you could help your situation. try it as apositive non blaming approcah."My daughter is bringing home work and when it is over the normal amount of time it puts off her schedule and makes the incosnsistancy stress her out." "How can we support her in finishing the classroom work on time?" What happens when others do not complete work? ALSO- your daughter can't be singled out or ignored or not punished because she might have an outburst!! When any student has an outburst, it is a teaching moment for that child.


Well, I think there is a safety issue here

If her daughter entered her classroom 5 times today, that means she was unsupervised at least 5 times today and that is not ok. That is a serious safety issue and I would definitely make sure it is taken care of immediately - as in tomorrow. If you and the teacher can't figure out how to fix this now that she is short an aide, then I would definitely go to the administration - not to tattle on that teacher. It's not her fault the aide quit - but to support the teacher and her need for more help.

Miss Milly

New Member
I agree with Esperanza's message. Just be sure first that your child is wandering out of the room and not being SENT to you. Even if she is being sent to you, the teacher could use your help. An aide or a sub should have been in that room as soon as the other aide quit.


Senior Member

Thats why it needs to be a team approach, the classroom teacher is not alone with your daughter's school day, special ed is the one who plays a big role here also. What does her IEP call for, maybe that is where you need to make some changes......especially if a part time aid is not enough to support her. You have to speak up at her PET.


Full Member
Wandering Child

I teach pre-k and I have a staff members child in my class. He is a little immature and tends to leave my line and walk into his grandmother's classroom at dismissal. Twice he was lost (for roughly 2 minutes, until we got to our location and noticed) and I had to run around looking for him. He was of course, in his grandmother's room.

I also have an assistant and rely on her to travel with the children and keep track of the stragglers. But now we know that this child wanders and so we hold him by the hand and double check where he is.

Ultimately, it is the teacher's responsibility to know where her children are. Which is not to say children never slip away, but five times in one day is excessive. What I suspect is that they are confident your daughter will go to your room when she wanders and so it isn't pressing to them to look for her.

I would be the angry parent who took it right to the front office for resolution.

Sorry guys. I know that we all get frustrated with the parents that do that...but this is an immediate safety issue that has gotten out of control.


A different perspective

A similar situation happened with me and my son when he was in 2nd grade. He was also diagnosed with high-functioning autism. You didn't mention your daughter's age or her maturity level, so I'm not sure if this would work for you, but...

Yes, it was very frustrating at first, but once I made it absolutely clear to my son that his wandering into my classroom unsupervised was absolutely unacceptable to me (and a safety issue), he stopped. And it he only had to be reminded once. As a parent, I felt that if "I" couldn't control his wandering, why should I expect his teacher to be able to?