teacher's personal life

[AR]

I am a student teacher, graduating this May. The college I went to was in a small town that is basically a college town and there's little hope to find a teaching job in the area that I went to college. I have lived in the dorms all through college. I luckily found a teaching job back in my hometown(big city) for this upcoming school year. I'll be teaching 1st grade. My dilemma is this- I have so much debt now that I am graduating college. I charged so much on credit cards during college(I know that was dumb) and will have a huge amount to pay back in student loans, and my car is breaking down and I know there will be lots of repairs with it. Living on my own is just not financially possible my first year of teaching. So I have decided to live at home with my parents for my first year of teaching to save enough money. I don't need any lectures about getting out on my own and not living with parents and becoming an adult like I've read in other posts. I know I need to be on my own, and will be eventually. This is the right decision for me.

Even though I know its the right decision for me because of my financial situation I am still somewhat ashamed of it. So my question is should I hide the fact I live at home during my first year of teaching? What if other teachers or students ask where I live? Is it possible to hide this part of my life from people I work with? I do think a teacher's personal life should be her own and I shouldn't have to let on about who I live with. But you know how people can gossip and ask personal questions. I just don't know how to avoid not letting people at work know that I still live with my parents at 23 years old.

 

[NCteacher]

Don't be ashamed

When I graduated from college 14 or so years ago, I didn't have a huge amount of debt- but I didn't get a job until I substituted for a year and a half. I lived with my parents during that time. At the time, I felt embarassed, since all of my friends were out on their own- typically in much higher paying jobs. It is not unusual at all now for a fresh out of college person to live at home to save money. Now that I look back on it, I am so glad that I lived with my parents. There were a few bumps along the way- I hadn't lived at home for 4 years. It was hard for my parents to treat me like an adult and hard for me to reconcile my youth and desire for the same kind of social life as my friends who were on their own. I feel like that experience was such a good one- it allowed me to get to know my parents on a completely different level. Also, you are really going to appreciate coming home to a friendly, warm place after starting your job! It can be totally overwhelming your first year and having the emotional support of your family will be very helpful. Besides- you might be able to rope them into helping grade some papers! If your students ask- you tell them you live at home. They are 6 and 7 years old- they won't think a thing of it. To them- that is just how life is! Best of luck to you- you are about to start such an exciting part of your life!

 

[StephR]

I did the same thing. When I graduated from College, I was pulled back home (had connections in my big town district ) so quickly that I didn't even have time to look for a place to live. I lived at home for 2 years while teaching full time and getting my masters. Not once did I feel embarrassed or ashamed of living at home. It was a fantastic situtation. I had all of the support that a new teacher needs (my family was there to listen to all of my "kid" stories) and I was able to get on my feet after spending four years in college. And really, in this day and age, 23 and living at home is nothing. Hey, my sister and brother still live at home and they are a few years older than that!

 

[sparklegirl]

I agree

with the other posters. You have no reason to be ashamed. Be very open and don't give others the idea that this is a touchy subject for you. The kids won't care. It shouldn't matter to the adults either. When I was your age and first started teaching, I lived with my grandmother for several months. It wasn't an issue. Also, if you hide this and someone finds out, your integrity will be damaged.

 

[Penny]

nothing to be ashamed of

A lot of people live with their parents right after college until they can afford to move out. This is not a matter of mooching off of mom and dad. You need the support right now and that's understandable.

I don't think it's a big deal and if it comes up in conversation just say you live at home and leave it at that. I'm sure some of the teachers you'll work with did the same thing.

 

[tweet]

Just a chuckle

As far as your students finding out, kids in 1st grade all think their teachers live at SCHOOL anyway, so it won't be a problem. I teach 3rd grade, and they are SHOCKED to run into me at the grocery store or Wal-Mart! Ha!

 

[Mrs. G]

Living at home

I lived with my parents for two years after I graduated. My Mom encouraged me to do so to save money. She is a smart lady and I often take her advice about finances.

You don't need to tell your students where you live. As a matter of fact, you shouldn't tell them where you live. It is none of their business.

When I started teaching I don't recall any of my co-workers asking me where I lived, although I probably told them I still lived at home. I was not ashamed of that. I thought it was a good way to save money.

Try to pay off your credit cards with the highest interest rate first, and if all possible pay more than the minimum amount. Just pay the minimum on the other credit cards and student loan until you have the highest interest rate one paid off. Try to keep your current car in working order. I know it is tempting to want to buy a new one, but this will only put you into further debt (unless you can sell yours and buy a used car for the same amount or less).

 

[imacacher]

Why would you be ashamed?

I went to college 3 hours away, but had to do my student teaching at home. So, I lived at home during my last semester of college (Spring of 2004).

Last year I had a permanent sub position, and continued to live at home. This year, I'm full time, and I still live at home. I could afford to get an apartment, but I don't want to. I have a wonderful relationship with my parents, and I'm happy here.

Now that my boyfriend has found a job, I"m sure looking for a house will be in the future.

For now, I'm enjoying being at home. I've been overwhelmed with school work for the past two years, and it's been wonderful not to have to think about the little day to day things. My parents love having me home (I'm an only child).

Everyone at school knows I live at home. Many of the teachers are old enough to be my mom, and several of them still have their adult childing living with them. Those that don't envy the relationship I have with my parents.

It's not an issue at all, and it's certainly not anything to be ashamed of!

Enjoy this time with your family. Once you move out, you'll probably never go "home" again.

 

[RSP Teacher]

My Advice

I remember a young woman down the street had gone away to college. When she completed college, she came home and lived with her parents while she completed her first year of teaching.

My opinion is this: people will think what they think. Don't let their opinions govern your life. If you learn that, you are way ahead of the game of life. Not everyone will approve of what you do. And many will judge you based on inaccurate facts and/or not knowing all the facts.

Take a tip from one who has been around the block a few times (I'm 51):
DO YOUR OWN THING. BE INDEPENDENT OF THE GOOD OPINIONS OF OTHERS. (I read the last tip from a book.)

And as far as charging things while in college............well, here is another bit of wisdom I read in a book: WHEN YOU KNOW BETTER YOU DO BETTER.

Quit fretting and beating yourself up. It's a new day : )

Good luck and enjoy your first year of teaching. ALLOW yourself to be imperfect.

 

[Miller]

Are you kidding? I WISH I stayed at home my first year of teaching. I would have saved so much money.

If people ask where you live, tell them. They shouldn't be asking who you live with. If they do, lie if you want. Are people going to be coming over? I never had people come over my first year of teaching. I only had people come over this year because I became closer with people and we carpooled to co-workers kids birthday parties.

You're 23, that is still young. I graduated college at 24 and was still living home.

You're doing the right thing. Pay off those bills. THere's nothing worse than having to charge your groceries to pay the electric bill.

 

[teachervet]

if anything....

I would just say that you are renting from your parents...if they want to criticize you, then they aren't ones to hang out with.

 

[Mr. X]

When I graduated from college many years ago, I lived at home for a few years. I might have moved out sooner, but my starting salary was only about $10,000 a year. My mother was a widow and I had a younger brother still in school, and I figured it was important to be a mentor to him. Fortunately, I didn't have a lot of debt, and I saved and invested my money. I didn't spend very much.

This turned out to be a wise strategy because I got married about 5 years after graduating. I had stashed away enough money so that my wife and I could have a nice honeymoon. A couple years later we bought a house, and my investments enabled us to make a nice down payment.

Don't be ashamed. You don't have to discuss your living arrangements with your students--I never did. What you're doing is very common for young teachers. Use this opportunity to pay down your debts, save money, and invest as much as you can. Start a Roth IRA. Many years from now, you'll be glad you did!

 

[fun_friend]

I see no reason to be ashamed of living with your parents. Are you worried about not being "cool?" Most people have their own lives to deal with and shouldn't have time to think about yours. This first year will pass quickly. You will be glad to live with your parents and not have time to be lonely. My mom helped me grade papers a lot my first year of teaching. She just loved grading those math papers and putting comments on them to help them learn to do the problems! I didn't feel like I had time for comments, but my mom sure did!

I wish I could have lived with my mom when I was younger.

It's no one's business but your own with whom or where you live. Who cares what others think? These other people aren't going to help you pay down those credit cards or student loans are they? Be proud you have the wisdom to live with parents even if you feel too old. You are definitely NOT too old!

 

[MKat]

I would be one of the first to encourage you to move out and establish independence if you had always lived with your parents. However, there are lots of benefits to a short term, money saving solution for a year or more. You've proven you are not dependent on them. You have a job, which is way more than many recent college grads! Hold your head high and consider how lucky you are that you have so many options - you are very fortunate.

 

[Ima Teacher]

No need to be embarrassed! It's actually nobody else's concern anyway. After I graduated I moved back in with my parents until I could see about getting a job. I ended up staying with them for seven years. During that time I was working full time, and I also decided to go ahead and get my MA out of the way.

I didn't have debt from school or credit cards, but I did buy a car during that time. It was the perfect arrangement for me and my parents. I didn't think it was odd at all, and most people at work knew where I lived, and they didn't seem to care about it.

I bought a house a few months before I got married.

 

[rmcteach]

living at home

You have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. Truth be told, I began teaching when I was 24 and lived at home until I was 31. I had a great relationship with my parents and contributed with groceries, maintenance, etc. My parents refused to accept any rent. They treated me like the adult that I was. I had my own phone and TV in my room. My friends who were living on their own always had money problems. I was able to travel extensively during my vacations. When I got married, I had saved enough for a 40% down payment on a house, in addition to paying for the wedding ourselves. Everyone at school knew that I still lived at home but honestly, no one cared. My parents were so welcoming that they enjoyed coming over for a good home cooked meal. Do what is best for you. Don't worry about what others may think. Think of all the money you will be saving.

 

[AR]

thanks

Thanks for all the replies. Its nice to know that others have lived at home too. I only know a few people my age that do live at home, so its embarrassing when a good majority of your friends are out on their own. Living at home for some reason makes me feel that I'm not a complete adult yet, even though I know I am. But living at home is the right decision. I was just afraid how others would perceive it, as if I am a less mature or irresponsible person by living at home. But I agree its nobody else's business who I live with. I wouldn't hide the information, but wouldn't volunteer the information either unless I knew the person well. For instance if a teacher I worked with and I were close I would tell her, but not some teacher I just say hi to and have small chit chat with.

 

[teachk3]

Be happy

Pay your debts and save some money! Go to the Bahamas on vacation, and take mom with you! Be very happy to have loving parents...

A friend of mine was telling me about her single friend whom I met,and her mom is living with her instead of vice versa. Her mom is a manic depressive single who can't hold a job so this girl, 32yrs old has chosen to let her mom stay with her and this has been for the past 3 years. Everyone's situation is different, and you can just live your life but don't be embarrassed. Just make sure you do get your charging under control!

 

[Alicia]

Don't feel ashamed...

to live at home with your parents. Get out of debt now while you are still young! It's really difficult to owe money (loans and credit cards) and live on your own (paying rent and other bills) on a first year teacher's salary. I was in the same position. I moved out right at the beginning of my first year of teaching. I loved living on my own with my best friend, but financially it was a huge strain on me, and I've gotten into some credit card debt-am now paying off.

I just got married in April, and my husband and I live with my parents. It's not ideal, but we have to. My husband came over from the UK and isn't allowed to work at least until July. For this reason we are living with my parents. I feel the same way sometimes when people ask where we live. We're newlyweds and we live with my parents! I'm usually quick to explain that he can't work at the moment, and we don't want to waste our money on rent and don't want to sign a lease.

There's nothing wrong with living at home. Lots of people move back home after college. Take this time to pay your bills and try to save a little money each month. You'll be glad you did! I wish I did!

 

[ogteacher]

Don't be ashamed of living with your parents - be PROUD of being fiscally responsible and turning your financial health and credit rating around before you strike out on your own.

 

[Bob]

I Agree

It's people who think they're perfect and never make mistakes that are bound for trouble. You realized your error and are correcting it. We all make errors, and the same kinds of errors. The teachers I know would never think you to be irresponsible; just human, and hey, there's nothing wrong with that.

Independence comes soon enough; too soon. I know many teachers who are very close to their parents, including myself, and I also lived with my parents when I was out of college. In today's society, college takes away finances; now it's time to build up finances.

The ones who are out on their own, already, might not actually be as on their own as they appear. Many are so far in debt they will never catch up, according to national statistics. Houses cost money. Many are still financed by their parents, even though they are out on their own.

Renting is not as inexpensive and ideal as it seems; I know, I tried it. I shared a one room apartment in Washington D.C.--with cockroaches; and watched the police investigate a murder across the street. I was almost mugged twice, well, I can't say that for sure because I didn't stay around to find out.

Economically, gas prices are going up, and could rise to $4.00 this summer. That's almost 3 times as high as they were last year. This has already raised the price of food and transported items to stores. I had to blink twice the other day to be sure I was actually in Wal-Mart.

I would recommend, from experience, both from what I did right and from my mistakes, to pay off the debt as soon as possible. Put a tight freeze on your wallet, especially for little things, small items from garage sales, sodas from machines, that add up quickly. Decide with your parents how much you can help out.

Create a budget. I made one up on my spreadsheet. Dedicate the day after each paycheck to distribute your money into your budget in order to 1. pay off debts, 2. save up for future expenses (if you get paid bi-weekly, divide yearly savings by 24; don't divide by 26, because 24 will give you a little extra money to cover unexpected expenses in other parts of your budget; in other words, it's a nice safety valve; 3. set aside a reasonable amount for yourself; be thrifty, and it will go farther; at your age, I would recommend setting aside money for social outings and dating. I would avoid any further loans, even for a car, but people I know in the car business would recommend a low mileage, newer model used car. If possible, avoid minimum insurance coverage, for cars, health, anything. You might need that insurance.

Create a time plan. You will desire to assist your parents while living at home, but first year teaching cuts into your personal time at home. Parents might be unfamiliar with the teaching profession and will need to have explained to them that you need time to work on all the extra work new teachers need to do. A great way to gain back time is to go to bed early, (save staying up late for weekends), and get to school as early as allowed. Plan as much sleep as you can, not as little as you can get by with, because although you are young, you are entering a physically draining profession, especially the first year. (My first year, I fell asleep, just for a few seconds, while giving a spelling test)! Plan a time in the evening when you will quit working, finished or not, certainly no later than suppertime. If you need more time, plan it for Saturday morning, and put it away for the weekend, finished or not. Never let it hang over till Sunday evening. Free your mind to refresh for the weekend.

Create a relaxation plan. You will need time for yourself, in between time with your parents and with your job. Learn a relaxation technique. Spend 1/4-1/2 hour a day relaxing.

Create an anti-stress plan. Don't skip school for a personal day unless you need to. Catching up the next day is even more draining. Don't stretch the rules at school. Do what's expected of you; you can suggest to change things later when you have your feet in the ground.
Your ideas are great, but don't over do it. Use one new idea per semester, if that much. Too many changes that you are responsible for will add to your already full time schedule. You'll be under enough stress as it is. Keep in close contact with your mentoring teacher and, if possible, your principal.

I apologize if this was a little long. I got to thinking about my first years on my own, and as I said, this is what I did right, but mostly what I had wished I had done. I will be praying that your first year is enjoyable and successful.

 

[javamomma]

Dont worry about it

Good grief.
If anyone asks just tell them you wanted to be sure this is where you want to teach on a permanent basis before getting your own place!