the nerve....

[REB]

Hi, y'all....I have THE WORST headache...EVER. And, it's all because of a mean-spirited old woman, (a.k.a. my mother-in-law), and because of my husband's ridiculous idea to get our little girl a cat yesterday. He and my little girl moved today, he found a new job, and since my job is still here, I had to stay behind, but our new cat couldn't because we are already about to have to pay 100 extra a month to pay month to month, when we renew our lease at the end of the month, instead of renewing a 6 month lease, and having to pay to get out of it, when I find a new job in that area, and yes...(clearing throat) make the move to live with them in our OWN place, which will now probably be a lot sooner than I planned on, since he just got this new job on Friday. (they're living 3 hours away.) So, Anyway...I refused to fork over another $300 for a pet deposit just so Amigo could live with me for a couple months, and then move to where they are, since things are already tight.

AND...I told my husband yesterday, when he adopted Amigo that he should call and make sure his mom is o.k. with Amigo coming to live there temporarily, until I move up there and we move into an apartment or house. He said, "Oh, my mom will be fine with it." (I told him he should ask her anyway, since it IS her house.) He said, "Well, it's not my pet, it will be baby girl's pet, and she needs a little friend to help her make this transition a lot easier." So, he did it. (Never called his mom, until he and my little one were headed up there this afternoon.) Well...guess what his mom said....
Here goes....
She said, "I don't want a cat in my house...I have allergies, and why don't you just take him to YOUR WIFE's family's house, and let him stay there, because he's not welcome here!"(my parents live 30 minutes from me, and 3 1/2 hours from where my little girl and my husband are going to live now.) (She was yelling when she said it.) Then...she yelled, "Maybe YOU should just return him, because he can't live here."
(She hung up on him.)
Lately she's been very grouchy...it's not just about this...his dad said he has to leave just to get away from her yelling, and he stays gone for the whole day...(now I know why old men hang out at Hardee's most of the morning, and Wal-Mart in the afternoons).
She was very rude to him about my little girl's cat, and he even tried to explain why he got her the cat, and that it would be temporary, until we got our own place again up there, and I moved up there, but she was downright hateful about it. (He called her back a second time, and tried to sort out the situation, but she flat out refused to let Amigo live there, and by the way, she does not have allergies...she had a cat that lived there for 16 years, and never once complained about him...he died about 2 years ago.) My husband even told me that he knows my mom is lieing about the allergies, and that she was very hateful, and rude about Amigo, and even the second time when he called she recommended for us to return him. My little girl was in tears, and so was I, and I'm not even a cat person, but how she acted was so horrible, and my little girl (she's 4 1/2) said it would hurt her heart to say bye bye to Amigo!!!

So, needless to say, I was fuming mad. Anyway...we did manage to work out a solution...my sister-in-law has offered to board him at her house, until we get a new pet-friendly place, and she happened to be visiting with my mother in law this weekend, and said Amigo could catch a ride back to their house with them, once my husband and little girl arrived, and she would take care of him for us, until we get settled in a new place. So, my little girl was happy...she got to keep her cat, and her little heart's not hurting anymore.
But, I have informed my husband that AS SOON AS POSSIBLE...get out from under their roof, and get a place...because I won't be living in that area, until he does. He was flabbergasted at how cruel his mom was about Amigo, and apologized over and over to me, and our little girl about it, but I told him maybe his mom looks at him as a "freeloader"...and maybe that's how she sees Amigo as well, and she's not having it. I told him perhaps he had worn out his welcome already, and needs to move soon, and get his own place, instead of staying there, until he can get me up there as well.
So, I guess in an odd-ironic kind of way, this helped push him into realizing that his parents don't want him living there, and he needs to move on.

Just like little Amigo. I hope to have Amigo, and my husband and little girl all under the same roof again soon.

REB

 

[PrivateEyes]

She was rude, but...

your husband was thoughtless. Getting a cat when he doesn't have a home was not smart, and expecting "Mom" to just welcome the cat with open arms, without telling her or consulting with her was obviously a mistake.

Mom is apparently under a lot of stress, and adding two new people was adding to the stress, then adding cat was just too much. I agree she definitely could have handled it better, but she's not the only one in the wrong here. Son should apologize to Mom for not consulting her before obtaining a cat that he expected to live in HER home.

 

[speeder1]

When it rains, it pours for you and your family. I hope your daughter is not sad being away from you and your MIL will help her instead of making her upset. Everything happens for a reason and I am sure things will work out for your family.

One question though...have you thought about writing a book? You have been through H*ll and back and you seen to still have a positive attitude.

Best Wishes

 

[SC]

Mothers-in-law

Do you think she's going through menopause? Not that it's an excuse, but my MIL used to be so nice to me, and now she's a complete wench. My husband and I have decided that she's going through "the change."

 

[REB]

in that case....

she must've been going through the change for 34 years now, because my husband says that she's acted "witchy" like that ever since he can remember...it's HER WAY...or the HIGHWAY....I think she would've been glad to let Amigo go to the highway..

AND...AMEN!!! I TOTALLY agree!!! MY husband leaves much to be desired in the consideration, and caring department, even HE admitted that, after I GLADLY reminded him yesterdayabout the fact that I repeatedly said that he should check with his mom BEFORE getting the cat, and he thought if it was our little girl's cat, she would let it in with open arms...

Thanks, Speeder...I've thought about writing a book...but I'm not sure if anyone would actually BUY it...lol.

My dad, who has also been through as much as I have in the past two years...(all of these things happened to him a year ago August 22, by the way)(5 artery bypass, kidney stint, 50% hearing loss in both ears(now wears hearing aids), and was diagnosed with diabetes this past summer...AND went through Katrina...rode it out...in his home in southeast Louisiana...while a pine tree fell through his next door neighbor's house..split it straight down the middle...(and ripped his roof off of his garage, and smashed my brother's car...)
He calls us....the "Family of Job"
(ya know...Job....from the Bible... )
He sometimes says that if he didn't know better he'd think he was the modern day Job....and of course with all our problems, we are the family of Job....

Of course, the cool part is, he still let me live with him and mom for a month, after my accident, since I couldn't go back home to my apartment...(we lived upstairs, and it was 16-20 steps, and I was in a wheelchair at the time.) And, they GLADLY took me in!!

Thanks again, but right now...I'm just trying not to keep my sanity...writing just might push me over the edge...lol

REB

 

[RKM]

Try to take her with a grain of salt!

REB,
I understand your feelings towards your Mother-in-Law. My husband and I have been married for a little over a year. My MIL is as good as gold and I enjoyed her very much while we were dating, but she really started to get on my nerves right after we were married. She was constantly calling my husband (3-4 times a day), coming over unannounced, and asking us when we were going to have a baby all of the time! It got to where I was snappy towards her answers and didn't really want to be around her.
This past July, she was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer. I felt like a fool when I found out that she had cancer. How could I be so petty to care how many times she called a day when she could be gone in a flash? Any of us can be taken from this Earth in a flash. Don't get me wrong, your MIL does sound like a pain. Just think of how you would feel if she got terminally sick or passed away. Just a thought. RKM

 

[REB]

That reminded me, RKM...

That reminded me...maybe it's not really that her anger is geared towards us...maybe it's that she's just frustrated....I know exactly what you mean, about valuing people...my sister-in-law, who I've only met three times..(last time was at Christmas last year, and we got to spend about three hours together...she's very fun to be around, by the way)....well...she's fighting cancer right now. She has cancer that has spread to five places in her body...and she's a regular at MD Anderson, for chemotherapy treatments, and long stays, so I guess I didn't think about this until you mentioned it, but maybe my MIL is also having to deal with this emotionally as well, because she and the daughter-in-law aren't very close, and she has 3 kids, and two which still live at home. My SIL is in her early 40's and is an RN, and because of cuts in her insurance, due to her outrageous medical bills, they have now gotten to the point, where either she will have to take a leave, or work, so she can keep her full insurance. So, even though she's fighting this cancer, she is still trying to work as well. Now, to me, that's a brave, brave lady.


Her daughter is in college, her son will graduate this spring, and her youngest son is in the 4th grade. I know this sounds a little selfish, but I just hope she will hang on long enough to get to see her son graduate in the Spring, because just since the New Year she's been getting progressively worse.

But, I'm glad I got to know her, and I really think that all of this stuff that my MIL is dealing with emotionally may be what's eating at her. I mean, I really do like her, but it's just been one heck of a year, and I think she's feeilng that as well.

REB