Unreasonable Demands

[Kim/4th/SC]

Why is it that parents feel they have the right to demand what we will and won't do for them/their child? Just today, I had a parent tell me that I NEEDED to e-mail her son's homework assignments to her daily, because she can't read his handwriting and it's just too much for her to try and figure it out. She also wanted the assignments prioritized in case he didn't have time to do everything. I already check his assignment book daily and initial it to indicate that he has copied all assignments completely and correctly (per mom's request) and I can read his writing just fine, thank you. I politely told her no way--In fourth grade, that it is important to transfer more responsibility to the student and let THEM suffer the consequences of their actions.

Calgon......Take me away!!!!!!!!!!
Kim

 

[Gloria]

My recommendation

1. Start an account on www.schoolnotes.com, I think it is free and you can post your assignments everyday. I do.

2. Have her find a buddy Mom to help her and her child through this time. She probably already talks to someone daily so she can take on the responsibility instead of you.

 

[connieg]

Oh no

Hi Kim,

Although I also have a schoolnotes account and I make up a weekly assignment sheet with much of the work already listed, I would feel exactly the same way you do. Kids who can't comply to reasonable expectations often have exasperated parents who ask silly things of us. I think you are doing quite enough by individually checking his work. Stick to your procedures.
Connie

 

[GB]

Adhere to policy

Tell her that you need to...

Adhere to your expectations for all students, equally. Your students are equipped with an assignment book to use.

And that...
All the assignments are equal priority. Why assign anything that doesn't need to be done as much as something else? It's all practice toward a bigger concept/goal.

 

[Mrs.B]

Good Job!

Good for you! I'm glad you're not writing down his assignments for him. For a first or second grader, maybe, but you don't need to baby a fourth grader. Have him write down a friend's phone number and call
if he has trouble with something.

 

[Newbie]

Good for you

I'm glad you didn't give in to this mom. Why does she think it's your job to do something her 4th grade son should be capable of doing? It's crazy that she thinks they have to prioritize assignments in case they don't have time. Um...it's an assignment....do it.

 

[newoldteacher]

Similar Situation

I have a similar situation, but it involves a fathers demand that I e-mail him copies of every newsletter, progress report, and report card. The parents are divorced and refuse to communicate with each other. The mother has physical custody, but the father has liberal visitation (lives in the same neighborhood, too).

NOw, this request might sound easy, but I don't always have my newsletters saved on a computer with e-mail ability. This comes from NEVER considering e-mailing newsletters, so why put all the info. on the ONE computer in the room with E-mail? I know, I know...I could download them to a disk and then e-mail from another computer, but REALLY!?!?! How many MORE items do I need to add to my to do list?

Am I really inconsiderate, lazy, mean?? HOpe not. I just believe that a fourth grader can communicate with his dad from week to week. .,,,,especially when there are no beh. probs./sch. difficulties.

 

[n2n2n2n]

emailing

Good advice --- tell kid and mother to call a friend.
As for emailing newsletters --- could you leave extra copy of notices with office and theycan mail them to non-custodial Dad? Better yet, have Dad leave self-addressed stamped envelopes. (I know, he would complain about that! hehehe)

 

[SB]

rather than e-mail

Use snail mail. Explain that some of this is confidential information that should not go out via e-mail. Have dad give you a stamped self addressed envelope for each week and you will run extra copies and put them in the mail. OR In the past I have had a seperate Take Home Folder for a student in your situation. I just give that student two mailboxes and they get two copies of everything. One will go in the folder for Mom and the other will go in the folder for Dad. This is really easy on you and puts the responsibility on dad to get his information.

 

[dramacentral]

divorced parents

Our school has a policy that we must snail mail all reports, invitations, newsletters, etc. to the non-custodial parent. The school pays for postage. This prevents problems between divorced parents that occur from lack of communication.

As for kids writing down assignments - if my dysgraphic 4th graders can use an assignment notebooks, I'd say the vast majority of students can. And I only prioritize homework for kids with extenuating circumstances, such as those receiving a lot of extra tutoring and therapy outside of school hours.

 

[bamateach]

No

I hate it when parents expect me to go out of my way for a child. Will you check their backpack for morning stuff, homeowrk, money, etc..? Will you make sure they have their reading book? Will you write their assigments down? My answer is always the same. NO! I don't do it for the others and I won't do it for him/her. I teach 2nd and taught 1st the same was true then. I always just let them know that this is their responsibility.