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Wedding Gift without being a guest?


Senior Member
Hi, my colleague and friend (although not a really, really close friend..) is getting married and she wants me to come to the wedding, but I can't as my close relative is getting married out of state on the same day. So my work friend knows that and therefore did not give me an invitation.

She is having a quite simple small wedding. DO I GET HER A WEDDING GIFT even though I won't be going to the wedding???? :confused: :confused:

I don't want to be a scrooge... I like her and would like to get her something, but don't know what...?

I would have spent money on a present if I was here at the time. If I give her a gift, what do I get her? HOW MUCH MONEY do I spend? (She is a couple of months pregnant also if that makes a difference... ;))



Senior Member

I would probably get her a gift. Is she registered anywhere? Don't worry about the amount of $$ to spend...just the fact that you are presenting her with a gift and your best wishes will make her happy.

Garden Gal

Senior Member
give a gift

Since the only reason you are not being invited is because you can't attend, I would definately send/give a gift. I would get something from her registry if she has one, if not a decorative serving dish fits with anyone's taste in china. Is she getting married near Christmas? You could do a pretty holiday dish or two. Spend what you feel comfortable with.


Senior Member
I would get something for her. You don't have to spend too much-maybe $20-$25. Is she registered? I would start there. Maybe she registered for a nice frame or something.


Senior Member

I agree with the others - definitely get her a gift. You don't have to be invited to the wedding to get someone a gift anyway, but in your case you really were invited and just couldn't go so they didn't send an invitation.

I didn't know what to get a colleague who got married over the summer, so I gave her cash (only about $20.). I put a note inside the card that said something like, "I know cash isn't as personal as a gift, but I also know how much it's needed for newlyweds! Have a blessed life together." She sent a very kind thank you note that sounded appreciative of the money. I know we sure appreciated cash when we got married! :)