Wedding pictures

[Lauren]

My husband and I recently got married a few months ago. I made sure that each set of our parents got plenty of our wedding photos. I gave pictures to Mom and Stepdad, Dad and Stepmom, and MIL and FIL. I gave each set of parents photos, framed a few for them, and even made a small albumn for each set of parents. Mom and Stepdad and MIL and FIL loved them and really appreciated what I did, but I feel so stupid for doing all that for Dad and Stepmom since they didn't appreciate it at all.

Now my stepmom and I have had problems in our past, but thats what I thought they were, the past. We really do get along fine, but now I'm thinking she just puts on an act about liking me. I asked Dad before the wedding if he wanted pictures cause the only picture out of me that he had displayed was when I was in the 8th grade. Dad said that pictures are a "woman thing" but that he wanted wedding pictures. Stepmom has out tons of pictures of her daughter and her nieces and nephews. I thought she might be having issues about me being younger than her daughter and getting married. She desperately wants her daughter to get married, and so I thought maybe it had to do with the wedding itself of why she didn't put any of my wedding pictures up. But that isn't so cause she's got her niece's wedding picture up. I included my stepmother in my wedding which I now regret doing. I gave her a framed picture of Dad, Stepmom, my stepsister(who was a bridesmaid), me and my husband. I would think she would of at least put that one up cause it included her daughter. But she didn't. I just feel so stupid for doing all that.

Then when I asked my stepmom about it she said she just didn't have any more room for pictures. There's a whole empty shelf that could be used for pictures, which makes me think she's just making up excuses. I'm also very embarrassed by this. We had a recent family gathering at my dad's and my grandmother and aunt noticed how the wedding pictures weren't up. They asked me if I had given Dad the pictures, and I told them yes and then they asked why Dad and Stepmom hadn't put them up so I said that Stepmom didn't think there was any room for them. Its embarrassing to me when my family noticices how little my stepmom cares, but really this made her look really bad to my family.

I guess I should have expected this seeing how the only picture my stepmom has of me up is from the 8th grade. Dad has albumns of pictures, but as for their family photos that are displayed most are from my stepmom's side of the family. Pictures of me or any of my dad's family are usually in albumns. I just feel so stupid for making albumns and framing pictures for them when they didn't care. Well at least MIL and FIL and Mom and Stepdad appreciated what I did.

 

[C.]

don't be embarrassed

You have no reason to be embarrassed! You did the right thing here. Sounds to me that your Stepmother should be the embarrassed one. She's the one that looks bad, not you. I know what it feels like to put yourself out there like that and have it not go so well. Hang in there! She's the one with the problem, not you. And cling to the ones that did appreciate it. And congratulations on your marriage!

 

[Lauren]

thanks

Thanks! It just really got to me that I put together all those pictures for Dad & Stepmom and they didn't appreciate it at all, and it irritates me even more that Stepmom has tons of pictures out of her nieces and nephews but hardly any of me. And she should be the one that is embarrassed. My stepmother has always favored my stepsister. I'm not saying that she should love me the same as her daughter, but I'm just looking to feel included. And pictures are just a small gesture to feel included.

But you're right that I should cling to my parents that did appreciate what I did. Mom and Stepdad loved the pictures. My stepdad even wanted an individual bridal photo of me to put in his office. I think a lot higher of my stepdad than my stepmom. I'm not my stepdad's daughter but he has always loved me and his kids and nevered showed favortism. Now I love my dad too, but Mom and Stepdad are the ones that raised me and the parents that I'm the closest too.

 

[Mom4a_and_c]

You did the right thing.

You were the bigger person because you gave the pictures to them. You can not control what they do with them.

Marie from PA

 

[Lauren]

stepmom

I gave the pictures to Dad & Stepmom and when they didn't put them up I asked why, and then let it go. But Stepmom is the one that really is hurting herself here. I haven't said anything to my family about the pictures but they sure have noticed and have been gossiping about her non-stop. My stepmother has never been accepted by my family, and a lot of that has to do with how she has treated me in the past. My family has never liked my stepmother, so this just gives them another thing to make a huge issue about and another reason not to like her. My grandmother especially is mad at my stepmother. I guess nobody likes to see someone being mean to their granddaughter. My grandmother is wonderful at defending me, and has always hated to see how my stepmother treats me. I've told my grandmother its not a big deal to me. But I can see why my grandmother doesn't like my stepmother. My stepmother one time told my grandmother that my stepsister is more of a granddaughter to her than I am cause my stepsister grew up with my dad and stepmom. My grandmother however set her straight and let her know that just cause I didn't grow up with my dad doesn't make me any less of her granddaughter and that I am biologically her granddaughter and that no matter who I grew up with does not change family history. So since my grandmother always defends me, she and my stepmother will never get along. So as far as getting along with my stepmother goes, I guess I'll just settle for our fake nice to your face relationship. I thought she cared more for me. She had been acting nicer to me through the years, but I guess it was all an act.

 

[trailpaint]

Pictures...

My in-laws lost their camera before our wedding, so my mother sent them her negatives and a set of prints so they could make as many as they wanted and then return the negatives to her. Well, the negatives and prints became "lost" and resurfaced 16 years later in my sister-in-law's possession--she gave only a few to my husband of their side of the family. Dont' know what happened to the photos of my side of the family, but I can guess they were thrown away.

When my FIL passed away, we shared photos with his family that we had taken...we made prints for them. My SIL & MIL refused to lend me their photos so I could make copies of my FIL for my family (and return them the same day...I wasn't trusted!) For years, I faithfully sent photos of my children; however, whenever I visited, I noticed that our photos were never displayed...stuffed away in a drawer. My MIL said that it depressed her to look at the pictures! My SIL rarely sent photos of my neice...and the ones I did have were framed on our photo table. I finally just let it go and gave up. I don't send them photos anymore because I know they are not appreciated, and of course, I still receive nothing from them. I only send photos to my family who wants them. Some people are just mean and selfish. You can't change their behavior. You just have to focus on the positive people in your life and disregard the negative ones...don't let them bring you down. Good luck.